I was so excited and honored to have been nominated by the wonderful Chloe Burston to take part in the Liebster Award blogger chain. The idea is that once nominated, you answer 11 question set by the blogger who nominated you and then you write 11 new questions. You then nominate more bloggers that you admire to answer your questions and then set their own and so on. I absolutely love the idea of this; it's a perfect way to discover new writers and also for your readers to get to know a bit more about you.
Here are the questions the fabulous Chloe (awesome name by the way) gave me to answer:
1.Why did you start blogging?
Since a very early age I have loved words and creating things with them. I have always been an adventurous reader and writer and I had found myself abandoning that initial skill when I fell more in love with songwriting. Due to the fact that I can sometimes find music and performing a little overwhelming, I wanted to get back in touch with writing for my own purpose in a different style and a blog felt like the perfect platform to do that!
2.If you could travel anywhere in the world where would you go?
I really want to visit Santorini in Greece and I'd love to tour the states of America.
3.What is your favourite makeup brand?
In terms of higher end products, Too Faced is my absolute favourite because their makeup is really well pigmented and their eye shadow pallets are stunning. For a drugstore brand I love Maybelline's foundation.
4.Do you prefer Tea or Coffee?
Always coffee. Caramel Lattes are the love of my life.
5.What is your favourite animal?
Dog. I'm a sucker for cats too though.
6.Are you currently reading a book if so what is it?
The Casual Vacancy - JK Rowling.
7.Do you prefer taking pictures for your blog or the writing content?
Writing the content, always. I find choosing the right words a lot more creative that taking a picture, although the photography can be fun too.
8.What is your favourite meal?
Anything Italian.
9.What are your goals for 2016?
My main focus is my A Levels, and hopefully take and pass my driving test sometime this year. I'd also like to take some time for myself and hopefully become the best version of myself that I can be. I feel like thats a very vague answer but it seems like a good idea to always have bettering yourself as a goal.
10.Name one beauty product you can’t live with out
Micellar Cleansing Water.
11.Who is your favourite youtuber?
The Michalak Family are my favourite youtubers because their videos are stunningly edited and they put so much work into what they do. They're the most under-rated vloggers and just such humble and honest people. It's so inspiring to watch.
I'd like to nominate the following bloggers to take part, simply because they are genuinely lovely people that inspire me and I have enjoyed their writing thoroughly!
Ellen Larson
Jamie Bryson
Jessica Keitley
Alix Evans
Here are the 11 questions I nominate these bloggers to answer:
1. Which writer has had the biggest influence on your written work?
2. What are the main inspirations behind what you write about?
3. What would you like to achieve in the next 5 years?
4. What fact can you name that not many people know about you?
5. What is your biggest pet hate?
6. Who is your favourite musician?
7. What is your go to comfort food?
8. What movie do you watch when you're sad?
9. What was the last song you listened to?
10. What is your favourite dessert?
11. Blogging aside, what is your favourite hobby?
Make sure to nominate more bloggers and set your own 11 questions for them to answer.
Tuesday, 22 March 2016
Thursday, 10 March 2016
All The Light We Cannot See | Review
Although the issues raised can be somewhat overwhelming, the resolution leaves the reader with enough closure to move on, keeping the stories of these characters with them, without answering all of our questions. As a direct result, Doerr provides a new outlook on the infamous war. Doerr also tackles the issues of prisoners of war, the Hitler Youth and wartime rape, including the future impact on the personas in a tasteful style that will leave the reader thinking rather than feeling uncomfortable. The character development introduces more complex personas that the audience can connect with- Marie-Laure loses her sight early on in the novel which subtly enhances the audience's empathy with her later sense of loss. It is stunningly captivating. Similarly, Werner's innocent ignorance within his involvement in the Hitler Youth emphasises the question of who the villains of this war really were. Thus allowing a deeper insight into the tragedy of that lost generation. Doerr exposes callous prejudices that were a ripple effect of these injustices.
Each chapter within this novel is a work of pure art; my favourite being entitled, 'The Sea Of Flames.' Doerr's captivating imagery, symbolism and vocabulary emits a sense of learning throughout the book. Whilst discovering new words and vocabulary, Doerr manages to subtly teach a broader lesson to his readers.
The book in its entirety can be hard to digest at times with a lot going on at once and a complex narrative style. As readers, we follow an abundance of interlinking stories across broad time periods; however, if you continue, allowing the links to connect, the confusion is replaced with a new outlook and perspective that leaves the reader resolved yet always wanting to know more about what happened to the lost characters slipping through the pages. By shedding very little light on Marie-Laure and Werner as lovers, though he no doubt falls deeply for her, Doerr creates their sense of emptiness within his readers who subsequently wish there had been more for them. Overall, it is a captivating read and a skillful allegory that opens the eyes of readers in a riveting new way.
Tuesday, 9 February 2016
My Hair Care Tips
It's been just over a year now since I had to part with my long hair and go short. I loved having short hair for a while; it was much easier and my hair felt much healthier but eventually I got a bit bored of not being able to do anything with it. Due to damage, I had to maintain a short look until all of the damage had been cut out. The last time I had my hair significantly trimmed was about 6 months ago, after which, I decided to let it grow long again. So really, the growth you can see here is 6 months worth. If you look back to the post I wrote, 'Why I Cut My Hair,' last year, you will see just how much it's grown and how much better it looks!
As you can see, my hair is much longer and healthier and I am much happier! So I decided to write this post so that I can share some of my tips and products that I follow and use to keep my hair healthy and prevent having to cut it all off again. Some of these products are quite pricey, but please be aware that there are much cheaper alternatives that you can use that I'm sure will be just as good!
The first is a product that I have sworn by for a very long time and that I have featured in many a monthly favourite since I started this blog in 2014. It is of course, Moroccan or Argon oil. There are so many different versions of this product with different names and price ranges and they all do the same job. The oil is very nourishing and strengthening as well as being moisturising. I use some version of this product after I wash my hair and let it dry naturally. Additionally, I also like to do oil treatments on my hair by putting generous amounts on my dry hair and leaving it in whilst I sleep before washing it out in the morning. I do this about once a month to keep my hair feeling healthy and shiny.
The next product I use in conjunction with the oil is dry shampoo. I am endlessly explaining to people why washing your hair everyday is bad for it. If you do have this kind of routine, I would urge you to try dry shampoo as an alternative to get down to washing it every other day because otherwise you'll end up washing all of the natural oils out of your hair and it will be very dry and brittle. I use dry shampoo on my, self labelled, 'Dirty Hair Day[s]' which I have every other day. Dry shampoo adds volume as well as breathing a little bit more life into your hair so that you can comfortably go without washing it every day. Of course, eventually your hair will naturally get into a routine where you wont need to wash it every day; however, if you're a girl my age your hormones may not allow you to get off quite so easy!
The final product I want to share with you is something I discovered very recently but it's already making a huge difference to my hair and the level of damage I'm battling with. This is a hair tie made purely from smooth plastic and it's shaped similarly to a telephone wire. What this does is hold your hair the same way elastic hair ties would without leaving a kink in your hair like most hair ties. It also, due to the shape, grips your hair without having to tightly squeeze it in place using elastic. Consequently, your hair sits comfortably in place with less friction and pulling. Often when tying up my hair I could feel the hairs at the bottom of my scalp breaking as the elastic would pull against it. This style of hair tie prevents this from happening and so it's much better for your hair. I would usually advise for you to not sleep with hair ties in your hair if you're trying to grow it because of the damaging issues but these are much better for you and wont break your hair so there's no harm in sleeping in a pony tail!
I hope you've found this post useful. Let me know in the comments if you have any products you use to grow your hair that I haven't tried yet or if you use any of these and love them as much as I do!
As you can see, my hair is much longer and healthier and I am much happier! So I decided to write this post so that I can share some of my tips and products that I follow and use to keep my hair healthy and prevent having to cut it all off again. Some of these products are quite pricey, but please be aware that there are much cheaper alternatives that you can use that I'm sure will be just as good!
The first is a product that I have sworn by for a very long time and that I have featured in many a monthly favourite since I started this blog in 2014. It is of course, Moroccan or Argon oil. There are so many different versions of this product with different names and price ranges and they all do the same job. The oil is very nourishing and strengthening as well as being moisturising. I use some version of this product after I wash my hair and let it dry naturally. Additionally, I also like to do oil treatments on my hair by putting generous amounts on my dry hair and leaving it in whilst I sleep before washing it out in the morning. I do this about once a month to keep my hair feeling healthy and shiny. The next product I use in conjunction with the oil is dry shampoo. I am endlessly explaining to people why washing your hair everyday is bad for it. If you do have this kind of routine, I would urge you to try dry shampoo as an alternative to get down to washing it every other day because otherwise you'll end up washing all of the natural oils out of your hair and it will be very dry and brittle. I use dry shampoo on my, self labelled, 'Dirty Hair Day[s]' which I have every other day. Dry shampoo adds volume as well as breathing a little bit more life into your hair so that you can comfortably go without washing it every day. Of course, eventually your hair will naturally get into a routine where you wont need to wash it every day; however, if you're a girl my age your hormones may not allow you to get off quite so easy!
The final product I want to share with you is something I discovered very recently but it's already making a huge difference to my hair and the level of damage I'm battling with. This is a hair tie made purely from smooth plastic and it's shaped similarly to a telephone wire. What this does is hold your hair the same way elastic hair ties would without leaving a kink in your hair like most hair ties. It also, due to the shape, grips your hair without having to tightly squeeze it in place using elastic. Consequently, your hair sits comfortably in place with less friction and pulling. Often when tying up my hair I could feel the hairs at the bottom of my scalp breaking as the elastic would pull against it. This style of hair tie prevents this from happening and so it's much better for your hair. I would usually advise for you to not sleep with hair ties in your hair if you're trying to grow it because of the damaging issues but these are much better for you and wont break your hair so there's no harm in sleeping in a pony tail! I hope you've found this post useful. Let me know in the comments if you have any products you use to grow your hair that I haven't tried yet or if you use any of these and love them as much as I do!
Thursday, 7 January 2016
December Favourites 2015
It's that time again. I've tried so many new things over the last couple of months and so I thought it was about time I did another favourites post. Due to it being December, the month of Christmas and Christmas shopping, Boots had all of their free gift packages in which meant that, among buying Christmas presents and my regular repurchases, I benefited from a few of these and got to try out a lot of products I wouldn't usually have bought for myself.
My first favourite for December is the Simple Micellar Cleansing Water. You can use this as a makeup remover or as a facial clenser post makeup removal and it's just amazing. I use it after I've taken my makeup off. You just pour a few drops onto a cotton pad and wipe it over your face. There's no rinsing or washing it off and it removes all of the yucky gunk from your skin and leaves it feeling fresh and genuinely clean. My skin looks and feels so much better since I've been using this and I would seriously recommend it to anyone who struggles with any kind of spots or acne. It's fab!
My next favourite is the blusher by Soap & Glory called Love At First Blush. I shared a picture of this on my instagram as part of my daily advent posting and I can honestly say it's beautiful. It blends really well and last really well too. I would definitely recommend buying this. I received it as part of a free gift but I'd had my eye on it anyway. A few of my friends have been using this and they all love it as well so it's definitely worth giving it a try!
My next favourite is the Bourjois Chocolate Bronzing Powder. I heard amazing things about this powder from various beauty YouTubers and my friends as well. I have a lot of chocolate themed makeup and so I was sure that I would love it. It blends well and smells gorgeous and I love the way it looks on my skin. It is durable and lasts all day. I haven't got any complains at all, I love it. I brought it as a present for a friend of mine and it's the bronzer I tell people to get if they ask me for advice.
I've also been loving the Soap & Glory lipsticks. I've been wearing them constantly and they were my go to lipsticks when shooting my look book. They sit so nicely on the skin and the colours are just beautiful. They last a long time and show up so nicely on camera. I prefer nude colours when it comes to lipsticks, but they have some gorgeous red shades too so definitely check them out the next time you're looking for a great lip product.
2 products I have adored over Christmas are the bourjois nail polish and liquid lip stains. The nail polish is amazing. I put one coat on and didn't need a second and it lasted a week with no bottom or top coat. The red shade is absolutely stunning and was perfect for the festive season. The rouge velvet lipgloss is so amazing. It dries on your lips leaving a red stain that lasts for hours and, unlike most red lipsticks I have tried, it didn't dry my lips out. The only problem I had with it was that, when waiting for it to dry, it stained my teeth a lot and I had to keep getting it off; however, if you can wait for it to dry without moving your lips for 15 minutes or so, I'm sure it will be fine.
I've also been loving the soap and glory Archery 2 in 1 eyebrow pencil. This includes a brush to shape your brow and then a pencil to fill them in. I much prefer this to the powder I used to use because it has a much more natural finish. It's so easy to use, I would recommend using this product if you're new to putting makeup on eyebrows and want to get used to it.
As you can see in the picture, my next favourite is one I have recently repurchased. It is the Cocoa Butter Formular lipbalm and it's amazing. It's especially good if you wear a lot of lipsticks and your lips get dry. I put it on before doing my makeup so that my lips are soft for putting on lipstick and then again in the middle of the day before I reapply lipstick. Finally, I put it on before I go to bed after taking my makeup off. My lips feel in much better condition since using this product and I would recommend it to anyone who suffers from dry lips. It smells amazing and 1 tube lasts a really long time!
Finally, one thing I have loved wearing throughout December is a hair bow. I think they're so cute and if you've read my look book you will see how I wear them and with what kind of outfits. The smaller ones in the picture are from Accessorize and the bigger ones are from New Look. They're great for pinning your hair out of your face and also for adding a nice touch to a simple messy bun or pony tail. I love them so much!
I hope you all had a great December!
Monday, 4 January 2016
What I Got For Christmas 2015
I should begin this post by saying Happy New Year to all of my readers and I hope you all had wonderful Christmases. Of course, it's not about the gifts and it's not about receiving and I feel like I need to acknowledge that this is undoubtedly going to be a controversial post simply because a lot of people may see this as me showing off. I want to make it very clear that I am in no way trying to show off. For the many of you that follow several bloggers/vloggers, you will know that this is a very common video/blog that people make to say thank you and to appreciate the things we have been given and how lucky we are. If you're not as familiar with the idea of this and depict this as me showing off, feel free to click elsewhere and read a different post.
I mainly asked for books this Christmas because I've been struggling with keeping up my reading schedule which is a very bad thing for me due to the fact that I need to read as much as I can to perform well in my A Level courses. As a result of this, I needed to select books that I wouldn't usually select for myself. A few of the books I got were recommendations from various people, I then put these titles into Amazon and also wrote down randomly titles of other books that were recommended by Amazon based on my searches. The two shown in the picture are Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn and Grief Is The Thing With Feathers by Max Porter. I am in the middle of Gone Girl right now and I'm absolutely loving it!
Another thing I was really excited about trying was the adult colouring books. I have always loved colouring and I find it really therapeutic and a great way of relieving stress and so the idea of getting adult colouring books and having it be socially acceptable for me to admit I love colouring seemed like a good idea! The one shown in the picture is butterfly and blossoms themed and I also got a Harry Potter themed one from my younger sister and an Enchanted Forest book as well as colouring pencils.
Aside from books, I asked for the Breville Blend Active blender with a built in cup (basically a much cheaper version of the nutri-bullet) which I'm so excited to use. I struggle with eating enough fruit and so by buying frozen fruit and yogurt to make smoothies, I can hopefully make sure I get enough fruit in my body which will hopefully make me and my skin feel a lot better.
My main present I absolutely love and have worn so much already. The picture doesn't show it very clearly because it is so small but it's the Libra model of Anna Saccone's Zodiac necklace range. It is made from silver and plated in 18 karrat rose gold and it's absolutely stunning. I've received so many compliments about it. It's a perfect, simple yet personal piece especially for people who are really into zodiac signs.
If you follow me on instagram, you'll understand the next couple of presents I received. I got Roller Lash mascara by Benefit and Better Than Sex by Too Faced because I have really short eyelashes that struggle to hold curl. They never show up in pictures and it's so annoying and so I've really wanted to try these two mascaras because they get great reviews. I've been quite impressed with both of them and so I'll do reviews on them both very soon! Secondly, my other sister brought me this awesome body suit that reads 'I'm cooler on instagram.' I absolutely love instagram and so I can't wait to wear this.
My best friend brought me some really cute presents. The one I've used the most is the Starbucks travel cup. I am a little bit addicted to flavoured lattes and I drink them all the time, it comes in handy to have travel mugs so that I can take coffee with me to college and work etc. The starbucks ones are great because you can take them in store and they'll put your order in your cup and it's a little bit cheaper.
Again, I hope you all had lovely Christmases. If you were wondering where my lightbox is from, click here to find one! They're awesome for doing flatlays for instagram or blogging!
Monday, 21 December 2015
The Grammar Police
I have always had a passion for studying literature and at 16 I was proudly one of those strange students that enjoy writing essays. For Literature GCSE we studied a variety of texts, my personal favourite being 'An Inspector Calls' by JB Priestly. I mastered the format and skills needed for those particular essays rather early on which meant, to my disgust and coinciding with the usual, tedious secondary school manner, I had to help the slower kids. And so, with the desperate hope to please my favourite teacher, a sassy, American lady with awesome hair and a very quick wit, I endlessly coached my table of time wasters and gum chewers until they too remembered to discuss the author's purpose and link such examples with the context of the play.
There are many disappointments in life, I was quick to realise. Amongst the worst are: savoury muffins and accidentally picking up low fat mayonnaise in the supermarket. For me, the worst by far is the tragic, unfortunate event of being stuck in a lesson, or any social situation for that matter, with a dunce who cannot consistently construct and grammatically correct sentence. For me, bad grammar is the savoury muffin of every English classroom.
Personally, I don't feel that grammar is a difficult thing to learn. When I was in year 3 and at a hideous primary school, determined to terrify the pupils into believing in God with the thret that we would all end up in the callous pits of hell, I was naturally eager to please. I eventually got so tired of being trapped in a constant state of confusion over which version of 'your' to us in each sentence that I later went home and, rather than repeatedly write out random words off of this week's 'spellings list', wrote out the different versions of 'where,' 'there,' and 'your' and taught myself how to use them accurately and appropriately. Consequently, never have I used the wrong 'your' or any of the other prime examples incorrectly in a sentence. At the mere age of 8 I mastered the 'yours'.'
Bearing that in mind and fast forwarding again to myself as a passionate literature student, you can probably empathise with my irritation when my mock essays were marked as only an A grade because I "could have linked to the context more coherently throughout." Meanwhile, over in the corner of my table, a gum chewer sat arrogantly with his A* having, to my utter disgust, used the word 'your' as a shortened version of 'you are.' Surely it must be a joke? I'm afraid not. I remember the essay clearly. After we had thoroughly but enthusiastically explored the build-up of tension between Sheila and her mother in the play, we were set a mock essay to write as homework. The groans that erupted from the Gum Chewers and the Hair Fiddlers were not only impertinent but also impossible to empathise with. I remember thinking to myself, "We're doing GCSE's, what do they expect?" I spent hours drafting and planning. I made tick lists to make sure I referred to the writer's purpose and context with every paragraph. I annotated the question to make sure I knew exactly what I needed to write. I recall clearly the week we spent waiting for them to be marked, a wait which was made longer by the fact that one Hair Flicker didn't hand theirs in until 3 days after the due date. We got them back and I was pleased with my A, an A is a good grade and I had months to bump that up to an A*. It wasn't that I was disappointed in myself but I was disappointed in the education system. I was angry that mark schemes could allow students with poor basic literacy skills to do that well in a literary exam.
And I wasn't alone. I sat opposite another equally passionate literature student. She had long brown hair that came to her waist that every other girl was envious of and her brain was filled with every sophisticated word you could think of; the other kids referred to her as 'The Human Dictionary.' To my absolute relief, I had found someone like me: a fellow grammar enthusiast. We had been friends before, years ago, way back in year 7-8 but this was a whole different level. We talked for a whole lunchtime about how inadequate and unacceptable bad grammar really was and how easy it is to get it right. Over the next few months I found a true ally in the English classroom. The Human Dictionary and I bonded over many lengthy debated such as how absurd it was that we were even put into the same class as people who couldn't spell properly. It was an abomination that a student who couldn't use the correct 'there' should even be awarded higher than a C grade. We would recommend books for each other to read and when it came to leaving that school for good, I felt deeply saddened to be leaving my fellow grammar fanatic behind. We planned weekends we would spend in the garden reading for hours and I expressed my jealousy over her book collection. I felt a healthy and enjoyable pressure to expand my reading regime to impress her. Inevitably, due to long journeys to each other's houses and the lack of essay construction to bond over, we grew apart. It was a bigger loss than I could ever have anticipated or even prepared myself for.
Lonely and bitter without my companion or confidant, I became cold and completely without any compassion for those who could not spell properly.
I didn't often get flirted with at secondary school... or any other form of school for that matter. My mum always told me it was because I was "too pretty" and I "scare them away." In retrospect, I can clearly see it was simply because my intolerance for those incapable of matching my passion for learning comes across as being abrupt and, in some few cases, unpleasant. The first time I experienced flirting, the summer after I left school, I was contacted by a seemingly friendly kid in my tutor group whom I had never really spoken to much before. The guy made a very rookie mistake by doing it over Facebook chat. Not only was this attempt unsuccessful because of the distinct lack of romance, but more so because it gave me a perfect opportunity to check out his spelling. I was sat in my younger sister's bedroom watching our usual marathon of Harry Potter films, simply because there wasn't much else to do. His name popped up on my screen and I thought it was just the usual nostalgia of leaving school and the burning need to keep up with as many people as possible, a feeling that I hadn't really experienced; I felt the need to abandon as many people as possible and run, as fast as my feet would carry me, away from the apostrophe crimes miss matched 'yours.' As soon as the conversation took off, dread filled my body. An explosion of frustration and pure impatience for the copious, careless grammar mistakes that invaded my Facebook Messenger like a vicious plague. The only quotations from this particular conversation that you need to understand the extent of my, perhaps slightly harsh, reaction are as follows:
Bad Grammar Guy: your beautiful
Me: My beautiful what?
Bad Grammar Guy: ...I said your beautiful
Me: I do not understand what beautiful possession you are referring to?
Bad Grammar Guy: No, I mean you are beautiful
Me: Oh. You mean 'You're.' I have to go now.
I would justify my abrupt response by explaining that I was in a bad place and missing my only friend with an ability to empathise with my frustration. However, to be completely honest, I'm not even sorry. What kind of date would it have been? What kind of relationship would we have if someone of my intellectual ability was paired with someone who can't even use word 'conjunctions' accurately? Imagine the love letters that I would have to go through and edit before I could allow myself to read them in order to focus on the emotion rather than the spelling mistakes. It's not just an insult to my intelligence but it's deeply unattractive and a clear red flag for laziness. If my 8 year old self could self-teach how to use these words correctly, why couldn't a 16 year old 'gentlemen?' After about 10 minutes of relentless complaining and, perhaps inconsiderate, talking over Harry's emotional conversation with his God Father, my little sister told me to, "block him and shut up." So that is what I did. To this day, I haven't run into Bad Grammar Guy or had to speak to or of him. I often think of him though and think with sympathy to his poor A level teachers who won't have such an easy escape.
To my delight, I came out of GCSE English Literature with a strong A, as did my fellow grammar enthusiast, The Human Dictionary. I have no idea what grade the Gum Chewer got because I didn't wish to communicate with him further after finishing secondary school. Bad Grammar Guy and I, as previously stated, are no longer in contact for what I believe to be clear and understandable circumstances.
There are many disappointments in life, I was quick to realise. Amongst the worst are: savoury muffins and accidentally picking up low fat mayonnaise in the supermarket. For me, the worst by far is the tragic, unfortunate event of being stuck in a lesson, or any social situation for that matter, with a dunce who cannot consistently construct and grammatically correct sentence. For me, bad grammar is the savoury muffin of every English classroom.
Personally, I don't feel that grammar is a difficult thing to learn. When I was in year 3 and at a hideous primary school, determined to terrify the pupils into believing in God with the thret that we would all end up in the callous pits of hell, I was naturally eager to please. I eventually got so tired of being trapped in a constant state of confusion over which version of 'your' to us in each sentence that I later went home and, rather than repeatedly write out random words off of this week's 'spellings list', wrote out the different versions of 'where,' 'there,' and 'your' and taught myself how to use them accurately and appropriately. Consequently, never have I used the wrong 'your' or any of the other prime examples incorrectly in a sentence. At the mere age of 8 I mastered the 'yours'.'
Bearing that in mind and fast forwarding again to myself as a passionate literature student, you can probably empathise with my irritation when my mock essays were marked as only an A grade because I "could have linked to the context more coherently throughout." Meanwhile, over in the corner of my table, a gum chewer sat arrogantly with his A* having, to my utter disgust, used the word 'your' as a shortened version of 'you are.' Surely it must be a joke? I'm afraid not. I remember the essay clearly. After we had thoroughly but enthusiastically explored the build-up of tension between Sheila and her mother in the play, we were set a mock essay to write as homework. The groans that erupted from the Gum Chewers and the Hair Fiddlers were not only impertinent but also impossible to empathise with. I remember thinking to myself, "We're doing GCSE's, what do they expect?" I spent hours drafting and planning. I made tick lists to make sure I referred to the writer's purpose and context with every paragraph. I annotated the question to make sure I knew exactly what I needed to write. I recall clearly the week we spent waiting for them to be marked, a wait which was made longer by the fact that one Hair Flicker didn't hand theirs in until 3 days after the due date. We got them back and I was pleased with my A, an A is a good grade and I had months to bump that up to an A*. It wasn't that I was disappointed in myself but I was disappointed in the education system. I was angry that mark schemes could allow students with poor basic literacy skills to do that well in a literary exam.
And I wasn't alone. I sat opposite another equally passionate literature student. She had long brown hair that came to her waist that every other girl was envious of and her brain was filled with every sophisticated word you could think of; the other kids referred to her as 'The Human Dictionary.' To my absolute relief, I had found someone like me: a fellow grammar enthusiast. We had been friends before, years ago, way back in year 7-8 but this was a whole different level. We talked for a whole lunchtime about how inadequate and unacceptable bad grammar really was and how easy it is to get it right. Over the next few months I found a true ally in the English classroom. The Human Dictionary and I bonded over many lengthy debated such as how absurd it was that we were even put into the same class as people who couldn't spell properly. It was an abomination that a student who couldn't use the correct 'there' should even be awarded higher than a C grade. We would recommend books for each other to read and when it came to leaving that school for good, I felt deeply saddened to be leaving my fellow grammar fanatic behind. We planned weekends we would spend in the garden reading for hours and I expressed my jealousy over her book collection. I felt a healthy and enjoyable pressure to expand my reading regime to impress her. Inevitably, due to long journeys to each other's houses and the lack of essay construction to bond over, we grew apart. It was a bigger loss than I could ever have anticipated or even prepared myself for.
Lonely and bitter without my companion or confidant, I became cold and completely without any compassion for those who could not spell properly.
I didn't often get flirted with at secondary school... or any other form of school for that matter. My mum always told me it was because I was "too pretty" and I "scare them away." In retrospect, I can clearly see it was simply because my intolerance for those incapable of matching my passion for learning comes across as being abrupt and, in some few cases, unpleasant. The first time I experienced flirting, the summer after I left school, I was contacted by a seemingly friendly kid in my tutor group whom I had never really spoken to much before. The guy made a very rookie mistake by doing it over Facebook chat. Not only was this attempt unsuccessful because of the distinct lack of romance, but more so because it gave me a perfect opportunity to check out his spelling. I was sat in my younger sister's bedroom watching our usual marathon of Harry Potter films, simply because there wasn't much else to do. His name popped up on my screen and I thought it was just the usual nostalgia of leaving school and the burning need to keep up with as many people as possible, a feeling that I hadn't really experienced; I felt the need to abandon as many people as possible and run, as fast as my feet would carry me, away from the apostrophe crimes miss matched 'yours.' As soon as the conversation took off, dread filled my body. An explosion of frustration and pure impatience for the copious, careless grammar mistakes that invaded my Facebook Messenger like a vicious plague. The only quotations from this particular conversation that you need to understand the extent of my, perhaps slightly harsh, reaction are as follows:
Bad Grammar Guy: your beautiful
Me: My beautiful what?
Bad Grammar Guy: ...I said your beautiful
Me: I do not understand what beautiful possession you are referring to?
Bad Grammar Guy: No, I mean you are beautiful
Me: Oh. You mean 'You're.' I have to go now.
I would justify my abrupt response by explaining that I was in a bad place and missing my only friend with an ability to empathise with my frustration. However, to be completely honest, I'm not even sorry. What kind of date would it have been? What kind of relationship would we have if someone of my intellectual ability was paired with someone who can't even use word 'conjunctions' accurately? Imagine the love letters that I would have to go through and edit before I could allow myself to read them in order to focus on the emotion rather than the spelling mistakes. It's not just an insult to my intelligence but it's deeply unattractive and a clear red flag for laziness. If my 8 year old self could self-teach how to use these words correctly, why couldn't a 16 year old 'gentlemen?' After about 10 minutes of relentless complaining and, perhaps inconsiderate, talking over Harry's emotional conversation with his God Father, my little sister told me to, "block him and shut up." So that is what I did. To this day, I haven't run into Bad Grammar Guy or had to speak to or of him. I often think of him though and think with sympathy to his poor A level teachers who won't have such an easy escape.
To my delight, I came out of GCSE English Literature with a strong A, as did my fellow grammar enthusiast, The Human Dictionary. I have no idea what grade the Gum Chewer got because I didn't wish to communicate with him further after finishing secondary school. Bad Grammar Guy and I, as previously stated, are no longer in contact for what I believe to be clear and understandable circumstances.
Friday, 18 December 2015
Autumn Poetry Collection
I have been asked to post some of my poetry by several of my readers. I'll admit, I am a bit apprehensive because poetry is such a personal form of writing and I'm not a professional writer, I am still studying the art of words and with that, I am still studying how to form poetry. However, there are a few short poems that I've written that I am really proud of and so I'm going to post them here for you to enjoy. One thing that differentiates this post from my usual is it gives you chance to give me feedback as a writer: whatever your initial reactions are to these poems, please feel free to comment below! I would really benefit from knowing what you think! First and foremost, most of the poems I will share were a part of a collection I had to write as a piece of mock coursework for my Creative Writing A level and so they are based around the given theme, Light, hence the running theme. I really hope you enjoy my first publicly shared poems!
Stay Safe Within The Light, My Love. ©
I wrote such words of sorrow
to recover from the scar you left:
words of the smile I had to borrow
and the scars left beneath my chest.
Worry not for my discomfort
or the tears I have cried enough of;
stay safe within the light, my love.
Your hands soon found another
to replace the forever you threw away.
No more than a temporary lover.
The one who left always promised to stay.
Worry not for my discomfort
or the tears I have cried enough of;
stay safe within the light, my love.
You need not seek my forgiveness,
too often you drown within the dark
I was your savior from the wilderness,
I aided you to light the spark.
But I worry still for your discomfort
and the tears you have cried enough of;
stay safe within the light, my love.
Beneath My Ribs ©
A candle would flicker in the wind,
the flame may even blow out.
My dearest, I struggled to understand
but I am on my way there now.
I kept it all silent for too long,
trapped beneath my lips.
Now you are long gone and oceans away,
so I will keep in beneath my ribs.
My tears put out your roaring flame,
perhaps it was selfish to request you stay.
My dearest, I struggled to understand
but now I am on my way.
You should know you do not hold the blame,
we shared it with each and every kiss.
Now you are long gone and oceans away,
so I will keep in beneath my ribs.
The House I Didn't Get To Build. ©
You lit a match,
I watched it burn.
You blew it out,
I watched the ashes Fall.
You pressed your lips
against her skin-
merely a shadow
where I used to be.
You burnt down the house
I didn't get to build;
danced in the flames,
free of love and guilt.
We both will wait
but one will stay.
When you come back,
I know you won't chose me.
Last Autumn. ©
A kiss for my cheek as they change over the leaves.
A kiss on my neck as you're changing me.
You took a hold of my hand, to say the least;
this time last autumn, you were holding me.
A magical mist in this crisp new air.
Old passion dying, acting as though you don't care.
Both pushing and pulling but one force is stronger,
I only wish last autumn had lasted longer.
My eyes captivated on the fading leaves,
taking more notice than I usually do...
and with it is dying
my missing you.
© Chloe Hanks (All poetry shared here belongs to me. Please ask permission to copy any of this poetry and take it else where on the internet. Any quotation should clearly convey credit to my name and my blog and have my own personal permission of use)
Stay Safe Within The Light, My Love. ©
I wrote such words of sorrow
to recover from the scar you left:
words of the smile I had to borrow
and the scars left beneath my chest.
Worry not for my discomfort
or the tears I have cried enough of;
stay safe within the light, my love.
Your hands soon found another
to replace the forever you threw away.
No more than a temporary lover.
The one who left always promised to stay.
Worry not for my discomfort
or the tears I have cried enough of;
stay safe within the light, my love.
You need not seek my forgiveness,
too often you drown within the dark
I was your savior from the wilderness,
I aided you to light the spark.
But I worry still for your discomfort
and the tears you have cried enough of;
stay safe within the light, my love.
Beneath My Ribs ©
A candle would flicker in the wind,
the flame may even blow out.
My dearest, I struggled to understand
but I am on my way there now.
I kept it all silent for too long,
trapped beneath my lips.
Now you are long gone and oceans away,
so I will keep in beneath my ribs.
My tears put out your roaring flame,
perhaps it was selfish to request you stay.
My dearest, I struggled to understand
but now I am on my way.
You should know you do not hold the blame,
we shared it with each and every kiss.
Now you are long gone and oceans away,
so I will keep in beneath my ribs.
The House I Didn't Get To Build. ©
You lit a match,
I watched it burn.
You blew it out,
I watched the ashes Fall.
You pressed your lips
against her skin-
merely a shadow
where I used to be.
You burnt down the house
I didn't get to build;
danced in the flames,
free of love and guilt.
We both will wait
but one will stay.
When you come back,
I know you won't chose me.
Last Autumn. ©
A kiss for my cheek as they change over the leaves.
A kiss on my neck as you're changing me.
You took a hold of my hand, to say the least;
this time last autumn, you were holding me.
A magical mist in this crisp new air.
Old passion dying, acting as though you don't care.
Both pushing and pulling but one force is stronger,
I only wish last autumn had lasted longer.
My eyes captivated on the fading leaves,
taking more notice than I usually do...
and with it is dying
my missing you.
© Chloe Hanks (All poetry shared here belongs to me. Please ask permission to copy any of this poetry and take it else where on the internet. Any quotation should clearly convey credit to my name and my blog and have my own personal permission of use)
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