Living With IBS (?)

Before I get into the narrative of this post, I want to make it absolutely clear that I remain undiagnosed and will be for the foreseeable future. However, I am certain beyond any reasonable doubt that I have been suffering from IBS symptoms for almost a year now. Some of these symptoms are very personal- there are things I have experienced that I have decided not to talk about in this post but ultimately, I know that reading something like this could have really helped me a few months ago. I wanted to write this for anyone suffering these symptoms who is unsure about going to the doctor or unsure of what to do in general. 

 Another warning, this post does reference my digestive system so if you find that gross, maybe wait until next week where I'll probably be talking about books again! 

 It all started with a family meal. The steak I ate gave me an awful stomach ache, the worst I had ever experienced in my entire life. I have described it to people as this pain that is telling me my body wants to get rid of the food in some way (tmi alert) either I need to go to the toilet or throw up- but I can't do either. This happened to me frequently over the next few months. I would get really awful stomach aches that could only go away with time. I usually had to just lie down and go to sleep and the next morning I'd feel okay. 

 I ended up being sent home from work one night after eating one slice of bacon on my sandwich, being left in crippling pain. After this I decided I needed to stop eating red meat. My body was clearly telling me to stop eating it. 

 I did feel better after cutting out meat. I didn't experience the stomach ache for a long time. I noticed that I bloated less after eating and going to the toilet was much less stressful. I found myself eating less and less meat generally which prompted me to become a complete vegetarian about a month ago. 

 A change in my diet and things seemed to be sorted! Until last week, I ate a veggie lasagna and the stomach pain was back... with a vengeance. I could hardly walk out of the restaurant to the car and had to lie down for a couple of hours before the pain subsided. 

 I found myself on the NHS website, looking up my symptoms for the first time. 

People had suggested IBS to me before, I was embarrassed by the sound of it and especially uncomfortable at the sound of going to a doctor and probably having to go through personal tests. I've always found the doctors scary, setting off my anxiety and sometimes even making me feel faint from the apprehension. I also have discovered that I faint at needles to the prospect of having to have a blood test done to diagnose my illness was very daunting for me. 

 When I looked at the possible treatments I realised that it's mainly down to you to get better. I didn't see the point in going through a process that I would find traumatic in order to be told to carry on doing what I am already doing, making changes to my lifestyle. 

 I have taken note of the advice on the NHS website which has told me that I need to be more active and make sure I am getting enough fibre in my diet. After reflecting on my eating habits over the last year, it doesn't surprise me that I have ended up in this state. Working all weekend in a pub meant I was working early and late shifts with little time to eat properly in between. I would often go a whole weekend of working, not eating anything for over 24 hours. My body got use to eating less and my appetite shrank. I also became scared to eat properly because of my stomach aches. I definitely do not get enough fibre in my diet and I am sure I should eat more fruit and veg. 

 Other symptoms that jumped out at me were that IBS can cause depression and anxiety. The latter I have struggled with for years and I'm certain my anxiety has not been linked to my stomach problems. My mood however has been critically low over the last 4 months at least. I would never have linked this to the problem with my tummy but other more personal symptoms listed that I have also been struggling with linked everything together. I understand that I have to make changes in order to improve my general quality of life. 

 Going vegetarian has helped me make sure I get a more balanced diet because I can be comfortable enough to eat. I have found alternative protein sources instead of cutting out protein all together by just avoiding meat. 

 I have set myself the goal of improving my diet further by attempting to eat breakfast every day. I haven't eaten breakfast regularly for years now which I can see now has reduced my fibre intake critically. It's amazing having dealt with an unhealthy tummy for so long how much better I can feel my body working after one bowl of cereal in the morning. Getting my appetite used to expecting breakfast is a little more tricky though. I often feel sick at the thought of eating in the mornings because I'm not used to it. I know this is psychological and extremely unhealthy and I am working at forcing myself to break through it. 

 Another change I need to make is exercise. I was never good at PE at school and working out has been something I always associate with anxiety and embarrassment. Going to the gym is very daunting for me so I'm going to start of building my fitness on my mums exercise bike until I am fit enough to go running. I know this will help my general health as well as the symptoms I've been experiencing. Exercise is also known to help with low mood and anxiety so I can't really think of any more excuses to not get fit! 

 I have purchased pain killers to combat the stomach ache should I get it again; however, I have told myself that if I make these changes and my symptoms don't improve after 4 months then I will go to the doctors. I haven't got anything to lose at the minute by not having a legitimate diagnosis. Of all the symptoms listed, there was only 1 that I hadn't experienced so I am certain that this plan will work for me. 

 I would encourage anyone who is experiencing IBS symptoms to go to the doctor, of course! But if you're like me and you don't find going to the doctor as simple as other people might, don't feel stuck; making healthy lifestyle improvements is never a bad thing and the doctors are going to tell you to do it anyway. 

 I do understand that self-diagnosis is a very sketchy game to play. But IBS is 90% of the time treated with lifestyle changes, I had already began to treat it myself without realising. There's no harm really in that continuing until/unless things get worse. 

 I hope you find this helpful if you've been suffering with any kind of symptom be it stomach related or mood related. I'm sure that if you follow the changes I am making, this well help you as well with either of those problems. 

Thank you for reading, I'll see you next week!