A Carnival in the Rain

"You said it was the perfect picture. I think it didn't fit the frame; a carnival in the rain" - Whispers, Orla Gartland.

 At 18 years old, I have just attended my first ever carnival. 

 I apologise that this post is a day late. I wanted to save this week's (last week's) post for something special which meant waiting until Monday. 

 Having recently moved house, we decided to use this Bank Holiday to get out and explore our new town. The Pershore Carnival is an event my mum used to attend regularly when she was growing up and we were all so excited to check it out. 



 I grew up in a town where people rarely gathered together. I never got to be a part of a display of efforts and passion aside from our yearly remembrance parade. What I realised today is that I would have loved carnivals as a kid had our town put one together. 

 The theme of Pershore carnival this year was Music Around the World. 

 It was so delightful to see. As a musician myself, nothing makes me happier than seeing people gather together to celebrate music. Seeing little ones having so much fun in their costumes and laughing on floats was so heartwarming, despite the worst rain shower of the year so far pelting down on us. 

 There were amazing food stalls and people selling their handmade products. 

 There was also a town council desk sat up where you could contribute your hopes and ideas for the future of the town. This was so lovely for me to see. They encouraged me and a young adult to step forward and give my ideas; I never saw this back where I grew up. The town council were always tucked away, you never saw them or got to contribute. 


 It was such an uplifting day. 

 We stopped for coffee after the procession to wait for the rain to pass and I felt so humbled in this new place I call home. We just seemed to fit there among the rain and the laughter. Despite not really knowing anybody, we were smiled at and made to feel welcome. 

 I wish I'd been able to be a part of a carnival procession when I was younger. I don't know if I'd have the same carefree confidence now. 

 It was a really lovely day. 

 I'm glad we went. 

Goodbye Stratford

It feels really strange to be writing a blog post about leaving Stratford College already.

 Two years ago, when I was leaving school, I went through the biggest transition of my life so far. I had been miserable at my school and I was desperate to have some sort of freedom to figure out who I was. I was in an extremely unhealthy relationship and I had to grow up very quickly. I was surrounded by people and adults who were trying to suppress me rather than giving me the space to flourish. I had to leave the few positive people I had in my life behind and just run as soon as I was given the chance. 

I am about to embark on my last week at college; my last week of a levels and my last week in Stratford full time. 

 I wrote a few blog posts about moving on from secondary school and it doesn't feel like time yet to be writing another post about leaving sixth form. 

 I set myself so many goals when I left school. 

 I needed to encourage myself and let myself heal and become a better person. 
 I needed to leave the negative people behind, however hard that was. 
 I needed to make the choices that would be the best for me and nobody else.

 I don't think I could ever do justice to what the last two years has meant for me and what I have achieved personally, regardless of what grades I pick up in August. 

 It's taken me two years to complete these goals. Many of them I've only fully embraced in the last few months; but I did it. I've learned so many lessons in the last two years, most of them the hard way; but I finally feel like I have become the person that my 16 year old self needed to be more than anything. 

 I break my own heart when I think back to the person I was when I came to this college. 

 I had let so many people take advantage of me, I had let people cause a lot of damage. I'm proud to know that the person I am now would never let that happen. I am a person that sticks up for herself. I speak out when people do me wrong. I make choices that are in my best interests. I have embraced the things that I love and I'm not afraid to succeed. 

 It took me a long time to realise that some of the people I was holding onto were just as toxic as the ones I had let go. I stopped forcing a lot of things: friendships, projects etc. and I embraced the things that felt right. 

 I am now surrounded by a few positive people. Although that is a very small few, I know that the ones I have are the ones I can rely on. 


 I've met amazing people studying in Stratford. I've had amazing opportunities. It doesn't feel right to be leaving. 

 Before, I couldn't wait to just run away at full speed and forget everything. 

 Now I'm not leaving behind pain, I'm leaving behind happiness and if anything, that's even more terrifying. 

I am I excited to go on to Uni next September but I am not excited to not be coming into Stratford every day. I have honestly had so much fun. A levels are stressful for everyone but I can only imagine the pressure I would be feeling had I stayed at my old school rather than coming here. The one thing I gained which is more important to me than anything is the ability to enjoy what I learn and to love learning things. 

 I have been able to rediscover so much of myself that had been buried under the unpleasantness of secondary school and I feel so ready to take on the next step now. 

One thing I do know about leaving Stratford is that I'm leaving behind all of my ties with my old life. I see the last two years as the period of dusting myself off and once I leave and go somewhere new, I can finally run at what I want to achieve. 

 Having moved house recently, I will be both living and studying completely away from everything that went wrong for me. I'll have no connections, no ties. It's exciting as well as hard, but this time I feel ready.




 If I could bear reading back through my old posts about where I was two years ago, if it wasn't for the trauma attached to it, I know that I have made that girl proud. 

 Thank you for everything, Stratford. 

My New Guitar

I remember the first time I went guitar shopping. I was 15. I'd just had my first working summer with the occasional shift at the hairdressers where my mum worked. I had been learning guitar on my Dad's electrics and this second hand Tanglewood he bought me online. It sounded pretty awful and I knew I wanted to start gigging locally, this meant I needed a new guitar. It was really important to me at the time that I bought it myself, I didn't expect my Dad to spend a penny on this guitar for me. 

 We went into Oxford one day after my orthodontist appointment and I played a few guitars. I fell in love with this Washburn. If I'm honest, it was mainly because it looked so similar to Taylor Swift's Grand Auditorium Taylor. Obviously my Dad knew that's why I wanted that one. He tried to get me to play others but I was so smitten. The guy in the shop handed me this small bodied acoustic which sounded incredible but the price was around £300. My Dad's said since that he would happily have helped me with the extra money so that I could have had a really good guitar but I was set in spending my own money. I ended up with the Washburn and don't get me wrong, I love it. 

 I can't explain the connection you make with your instrument as a musician. 

It's something you only understand if you play. I could never love a guitar the way I love my Washburn. I wrote the most raw, emotional songs of my life with that guitar. I played the best gigs and made friends with that guitar and she will always be my first guitar. 

 But it's been clear to me the last year or so that she just doesn't sound as good as other people's guitars when I'm playing gigs and performing. If my Dad does my sound, it's fine. He knows how to set up around her flaws; but that's not always the case when you play open mic set ups and festivals. I needed something with a cleaner sound for performing. 

 It's weird to say I feel almost guilty letting myself fall for another guitar. 

 But about 10 months ago I accepted I'd need to buy something better. Having saved the amount I would need for my car and insurance working at my local pub, I decided to work as much as I could up to my exams to see how much I could save for a new guitar. 

 People would often ask me as a student why I was working so much; I was pretty honest with people. I don't want to keep asking my parents for money, if I want something, I pay for it. I was chatting with a colleague about guitars and he recommended this brand called Faith. I'd never heard of them before but he explained that they're the most affordable brand of handmade guitars in the UK. I did some research and watched some reviews on YouTube over the course of a month and I just fell completely for these guitars. 

 At this point, I'd moved house and had to leave my job. I'd also had to dip a little into my savings to get myself sorted at the new house so I didn't have as much money as I originally hoped. I could afford the basic Faith range, the Naked. These are basically the budget guitars of the Faith range and they cost around £500. I was sure that these were the guitars I admired and so my Dad looked into it for me and we planned a trip to Worcester. 

 This shop in Worcester said they stocked the whole Faith range on their website; but when we got there they didn't have any at all except one in for repair. This was a Faith Naked Venus, the exact one I wanted but it had a huge dent in the middle and various scuffs around the edge. It sounded incredible; but obviously I couldn't buy that one. We went away a little dissapointed and tried a few guitars in another shop but nothing came close to what I knew I wanted. I was determined this time to not waste my money. 

 We had to go into Stratford to pick up my sister and so we decided to just check out the Stratford Music Shop and see what they had. 

 When we got there they had one Faith left: a Faith Natural Venus. This was the better quality version of the guitar I'd picked, and they retail at around £720. This is a lot more than I had. 

 However, their Faith had been on display for a while and so they had it at a discount price of £599, which I could afford. I was so happy. I tried out the guitar and it was just perfect. The body shape fitted me perfectly, it sounded beautiful and it was better than what I expected to go home with that day. I asked if they had any hard cases I could buy and the guy said it already came with one included in the price. 

 I think if it hadn't have been for that deal, I'd have let myself go home empty handed and bought a cheaper guitar at a later date; but I just couldn't walk away without that guitar. It was too perfect. 

 There was a Fender my Dad and I played in the shop that sounded awesome as well, and I could tell he wanted me to get that one. But the Faiths have this beautiful warm tone to them and I just love it. 

 I think Dad might be buying himself an acoustic very soon!

 In my new house, I took the two small bedrooms. My parents were planning on knocking the wall down so that me and my sisters would all get the same amount of space; but I decided to keep my room as two separate rooms so that I could have my bedroom in one, and my books and college stuff in another. My second room has also become a bit of a music room for me. All my instruments are set up now and I have such good acoustics in here! 

 It's a really good atmosphere in here too. This is my creative space; so when I revise in here I have this motivation that I just never had when I was writing on my bed. 

 I have already filmed a cover with my new guitar, follow this link if you'd like to check it out. 

Thank you so much for reading, I'll see you next week!

What I Eat As a Student

Although I am only in my second year of A Levels and still living at home, simple things like eating still prove a challenge on top of studying and so I wanted to throw a little post together full of quick and easy meals/snacks I regularly eat. Not only will this be useful for anyone thinking about going vegetarian to see what I eat in a week, but also, it proves just how simple fitting in regular meals can be when you've got 6+ exams to study for!

 I'll begin with my favourite breakfast. I usually have Weetabix with banana and honey for my breakfast in the week. I feel that this prepares me well for the day and takes a minute to prepare. I used to struggle to eat breakfast. I get bored very easily and so having the same cereal every day made me not want to eat at all in the mornings. Something like Weetabix is great because you're getting all the good stuff you need and you can throw almost anything on top of it to keep your morning meal fresh and original. If I'm not in the mood for bananas, I like to experiment with strawberries or even some nuts/seeds. It's important to change around what you eat in the mornings so that you can look forward to breakfast instead of finding it boring. I also like to make sure I have time to eat in the mornings and if I don't, I make sure to grab something to eat in the car. This could be anything: breakfast biscuits, fruit or a breakfast pastry. Whatever you have in the cupboards that's appropriate and will get you ready for the day. I have found since fitting in breakfast I feel much healthier and my daily digestion is much smoother. 

 I have two favourite lunch options. Both are fairy quick and easy; both are easily portable as well so you can prepare these to take with you to work/school. 

 I have fallen so in love with hummus. One of my favourite light lunches or afternoon snack is sliced up pitta breads with hummus. Again, there are many flavours of hummus so you can mix it up and not end up eating the same thing every day. I've never been a huge fan of sandwiches and so this is great for me. I try to eat whole grain pittas now instead of white because it's better for me and the hummus improves the taste a lot! 

 My second favourite lunch option is pesto pasta. I used to make this up to take into work with me but it's become a regular lunch time favourite. It tastes great just on its own or you can add things to make a pasta salad. I enjoy the Linda McCartney pulled chicken which I sometimes add as a meat free protein source; or various cheeses such as Paneer work really well with the pesto sauce. This is super easy to make and pretty fool proof; you just stir the pesto in. It's lovely heated up with melted cheese on top or it's perfect cold if you're preparing it the night before. 

 One thing I knew I would really miss when I went vegetarian was a good roast dinner. I have always loved a Sunday Roast and so I was thrilled when I realised that store bought gravy is vegetarian! 


 I have been really enjoy the Linda McCartney range. My favourite product is the Cheddar & Leak bakes. These work so well with a roast dinner platter and they taste incredible! I'm so glad I can still enjoy a roast dinner. 

 I am very excited by being vegetarian. It's opening me up to so many different food ideas and I enjoy eating a lot more now. I am excited to experiment even more with this diet. I want to learn to cook more of my favourite meals with alternative protein sources so expect more of this kind of post in the future! 

 See you next week!