2014 Review | Welcoming The New Year.

Last December, I decided that 2013 had been one of the best years I'd ever had and so I decided to write a post on my Tumblr (chloehanksmusic.tumblr.com) that went over all of the things that had happened and just showed some appreciation of all the people I had been involved with that year. Lots of my Tumblr followers asked if I would be doing that again this year so I decided to do it on my blog so that I can write it up properly and share it with all of the people that follow me. 

2014 actually began pretty negatively. In hindsight it seems clear to me that it was actually one of the best things to happen to me in my whole life because it meant that I didn't waste any more time on somebody who didn't think twice about me. I've progressed so much this year that it isn't even a painful memory anymore. All of the thoughts and feelings associated with  Jan/Feb 2014 are so insignificant now that I don't even wish it never happened like I used to. In fact, I'm so thankful that it did happen. However; of course at the time it was devastating and I was certain that I was going to have one of the worst years of my life. It all led to me writing this song: Shoebox. What I learnt from this is that the people you always thought you'd need to exist don't always matter as much as you think; whereas, the people you never expected to love mean the most. 

 During the whole 'dusting yourself off' process, I decided I needed to prioritise what really mattered to me and what didn't matter as much. I decided that music meant more to me than anyone I was surrounded by at that time. I'd been wanting to get out and play gigs for years but had never really had the opportunity. I had to swallow my pride a little bit and literally beg pubs and lounges that run acoustic nights to let me play. I got to play my first proper set at a lovely pub in Alcester and received so much support it was a little bit overwhelming. As a result of this, I got the ball rolling and was soon playing at little acoustic gigs pretty much every few weeks. I'm so proud that I managed to get my first few gigs myself and didn't have to rely on anybody else. 

The Old Thatch Tavern - Stratford-UponAvon. 

One of my favourite places to play will always be The Thatch in Stratford. It has such a lovely atmosphere and has always been a wonderful evening for everyone involved. 

Meanwhile, my YouTube channel has really taken off in the last year since I made it nearly 2 years ago. I used my Tumblr to promote my videos as much as possible and I now have several videos up that have 1000+ views. This may not seem much to some people but I have worked so hard to get to that amount and it means the world. 

 I did a cover of the 1975's Chocolate back in February that was reblogged by a wonderful young lady, Tally who runs the tumblr page 'Cloudy Dreamers'. My video wouldn't have received nearly as many views without this lady so make sure you check out her account if you're a tumblr user. 

 Having been playing here and there for a few months, when it came to the summer months I was desperate to play a music festival. I was put in touch with an absolutely amazing musician: Chris Wright  and we got together and learnt a few songs to play together at Welfest. It is a festival near Stratford. It was an amazing day and led to one of the most valued friendships I have ever had. Chris is awesome and I've learnt so much from him since we met last May. We went to the beach together and filmed a cover of a song from my favourite TV show, Nashville: A Life That's Good. 

Welfest 2014. 

Brooklyn Rose, Chris Wright & Chloe Hanks.

 I was having such a good few months that I was desperate to let go of all the negative feelings I had been carrying with me since January. I wrote a song called Miss You to let out all the frustration and then I was ready to move on and let go. It's probably my favourite song I have ever written and after playing it for Chris we decided to record it properly. I have played the song at every single gig I have played since and people seem to really enjoy it which makes me very happy! 

 I also got to play an amazing gig at Fat Lil's acoustic lounge in June. I was thrilled to be invited to play as it was a venue I had always wanted to play at! From playing this gig I was also offered a slot to play on a radio show called 'The Strummer Room Project' which was an amazing experience and I received some amazing feedback from it. 

 Chris and I played another festival together at the beginning of my summer holiday supporting my dad's band 'Zool' and afterwards Chris offered to record a Demo CD with me. This was so amazing of him to do and it also meant I got to spend my whole summer holiday of school with my best friend doing what we both love to do most: make music! We recorded 3 tracks for the CD, all of which sound very different and I'm proud of each one in different ways. 
 During this time Chris took me busking in Witney which I had previously been terrified to do! We had so much fun and I have gone busking 3 times since which wouldn't have happened without Chris so make sure you check out his page because he's awesome. 

First time busking.

In October, I was lucky enough to go and see the amazing Ed Sheeran because my wonderful friend Matt brought me tickets for my birthday! It was an amazing experience and I will never be able to repay Matt for that memory. Ed is an incredible musician and such an inspiration to me. 


 By October, I was able to release the CD and it's doing very very well! I'm so proud of it and so thankful to Chris for producing such an amazing CD. I live in awe of this guys talent. 

My First Demo CD

The last few months my music has been very inspired by my idol, Taylor Swift's new album. I posted a quick cover on my soundcloud of my favourite track: I Know Places.  It is literally a 1 minute recording I did on my bathroom floor but it has 2.3K plays and has exceeded the maximum amount of downloads per track and so I'm very excited about that!;)

My songwriting has been at a bit of a standstill lately as I've been wanting to write a different kind of music. I've been writing lyrics the past few months but haven't put them to music yet. I happened to mention to Chris that I wanted to learn to play piano and so, because he's such a wonderful man whom I'm very lucky to have met, he managed to get me one for Christmas! I also received a Baritone Ukulele that I cannot wait to learn to play. Hopefully the new year will bring to you a lot more original material. 

So that leads us to New Years. It's been the best year for me personally and musically. I've met some amazing people and wouldn't change anything even if I could. I've never really made new years resolutions but I'm going to this year because this is the second year in a row that I have had an amazing year and wished I had documented more of it. So, my new years resolutions are: 1. To keep posting on this blog about my life and things that have happened. 2. to learn to play keyboard as well as I can. 3. To make sure everyone in my life knows how amazing and important they are. 

Make sure you let me know what your New Years Resolutions are in the comments and share with everyone what the highlights of your year have been! Make sure to follow my blog to hear more updates about the next year of my life:) 

Big love to you all, Chloe. x 

Security Blankets.

Good evening my lovely friends,
After my introductory piece last night I was eager to post something a bit more meaningful so that you can really see whether or not this blog is for you. This is the subject that I've been thinking about most recently and it's actually something that made me decide for sure that I wanted, if not needed, to start my own blog. You see I think about things like this very often and can't help but feel useless because I can't make these feelings impact society in any way, shape or form. So, dear reader, I hope this post inspires you and makes all the time I've wasted pondering over it worth while. 

 I'm pretty sure every single child I have ever met has/had some sort of security blanket. It may well have been an actual blanket or maybe a stuffed animal or something so simple as a lucky button or some kids had rabbit foots at my primary school which always kind of freaked me out a bit. Whatever it was, we all had them, right? My security blanket was this little pink bear that I got when I was roughly about 3. I named her, (inventive name alert!) Pink Teddy. I used to sleep next to her in bed and even take her to school on days where I wasn't feeling to confident about going; I've always struggled with social anxiety and when your 4 it helps to have a cuddly friend to go on difficult journeys with you. As children, we kept these things because they made us feel safe. Maybe they smelled like home or maybe they just felt at home in our pockets or in our arms. I still have Pink Teddy now; in fact she is sat right next to me in bed as I write this post. However, I'm not quite so attached to her now as I was when I was a child. 

 Growing up is HARD. Quite often we are exposed to certain pressures that result in us losing that sense of security. It's no longer socially acceptable to carry around a bright pink teddy bear in your school bag just because you've had a rough few days. It becomes harder and harder to feel safe and at home when constantly you're being given reasons to feel anxious and unsettled. I was no stranger to this. I went through issues like most girls my age and I struggle to remember times in the last 4 years where I have felt safe and happy. During your teenage years you have to seek security from other people. No matter how much you want to be, you simply cannot be completely independent. You need to have friends around you that you can talk to about your insecurities because they can no longer be cured by snuggling down with a book and your favourite blanket. This was hard for me to get my head around because talking about problems is very hard for me and I tried to tackle everything by myself. That made me very down for a very long time and as a result I'm now dealing with issues that I have been dealing with for a very long time simply because I didn't realise that it is okay to need people. Additionally; if, like in my case, the people you feel you desperately need turn their backs on you, you don't really need them. They are not your security blanket. But you will find someone who can be. 

 Rejection and heartbreak can mean that you never feel safe or loved. I felt like I wasn't good enough for a very long time. But recently I let a person into my life that has honestly changed it for the better. I feel so safe around them and so happy and comfortable that I feel almost as secure as I did when I was a kid. That's a safety I haven't felt for a very long time and I love this person with all my heart, so much that I don't even know how to describe it. Having felt that kind of intense love, I can't help but get angry when I see how people really treat the people they say they love. 

 Let me ask you something: When you were a child, would you have let your security blanket fall from your pocket and get trampled in the mud then leave it there to get ruined? Of course not! That would have broken your heart and you wouldn't have slept for weeks! So why would you allow the person you love to sit and feel discarded by something you've done, a mistake you made, and not feel anything? How can you expect to feel that kind of safety and gratitude and respect if you can't respect the one who's giving it to you! The point I'm trying to make here is kind of linked to Karma. You see, the person I love, I would quite literally die inside if anything happened to them and so if I hurt them, I would feel a kind of guilt that wouldn't ever go away. It pains me to see lovers scream harsh words to each other when arguing. Words can never be taken back. You would never have got a pair of scissors and cut your security blanket to shreds. Why do that to a person? Why fall so deeply and madly in love with somebody and then let them get hurt? It's our duty to take care of the people in our lives and be security blankets for each other. 

 So when you find that person who makes you feel like you have a security blanket again, hold them as close as you possibly can and never ever let go. If you've already found them, go and give them a massive cuddle right now. I mean it. Go. Let me tell you, it only takes one person to show you why your life is totally worth living; it's completely okay to admit you need someone to show you that. 

 So I'm going to round this up now: all in all, we all have people in our lives that make us feel safe and loved. These people need to feel safe and loved to. It's our duty as good people to take care of each other and spread the love! 

Goodnight readers, 
Chloe. 

Hello My Lovely

I've tried this whole blogging thing before. 

 I tried to keep my blog anonymous but I found that to be a lot more effort than you would think and that's just not what I wanted this to be about. You see, writing has always been my first love and to go about it pretending to be someone I'm not just felt wrong; sadly that is where my first blog ended up. I found myself caught up in writing about issues that no longer affected me in order to keep people interested; as a result, my brain got caught up in things that I had long moved on from. I abandoned that blog after very few posts and decided to take a break... That break lasted a while. However, I am back and cannot wait to start a new, honest blog about who I really am and what I really love. Just a few things to begin with:

1. I'm not planning on promoting this blog too much on social media. This is because I want it to be a way of new people getting to know me; this may be: People who enjoy my music, people who enjoy the way I write or just people who find this blog by accident. Furthermore, I will only really talk about this blog anywhere else online to simply announce when I have written new posts. 

2. If by any chance you want to receive those updates feel free to follow me on: Instagram (ChloeHanks23) or Twitter (TheOneWho_Sings)

3. I will be promoting my music on this blog as it is the most important thing to me. 

4. My main goal with this is to improve my writing skills and to document important things in my life, as well as being a creative outlet.

5. This is a way for me to let out thoughts and feelings. Keeping diaries never really worked for me but writing songs has and I was keen to see if blogging would have the same impact. 

6. I was told by a college interviewer that keeping a blog may be a good idea for me as I am hoping to begin to study Creative Writing at A Level in September after taking my GCSE exams in the summer.

I am going to try to keep this whole thing fairly lighthearted and easy to read because I want you all to enjoy reading my blog. 

I will write about things that interest me: this may be very varied. I enjoy music, beauty and writing as well as photography, art and all things creative. I'm not much of an artist myself but I love looking at art. 

 For me this isn't ever going to be about how many people comment on my posts or even follow my blog; it's just a way for me to let thoughts and ideas out of my brain. 

 Do you ever feel like there is just too much stuff going round in your head? Whilst trying to juggle school and homework and lyric ideas and friendships and all that stuff I often feel like I've let really important thoughts fall out of my head. I've thought of many ways to overcome this: keeping a notebook and writing everything down or writing them in the notes section on my phone. Both of these things are things I've struggled to commit too. I thought if I started a blog without giving it a clear theme, I may be able to organise my thoughts a little better because I could literally write about whatever I wanted to. So by combining all of those strategies and writing thoughts down on paper and then blogging about them, I can make sense of what goes on in my brain and you can all get to know where my lyrics come from, what my likes and dislikes are and just who I am as a person. It might even help me get to understand who I am as a person. 

 I understand that as a first blog post this is very unorganised and scattered in terms of a theme and purpose. This is simply because I want to introduce you to what this blog may be about and why I wanted to start writing it. I will put much more planning into my future posts and make them much more structured for you to enjoy. I am currently writing this post in bed whilst suffering from a horrible flu virus that I had the pleasure of being infected with right as Christmas began; it is also 22:54 and I'm feeling very drowsy. These are my excuses for lack of coherence in this introductory piece, take them as you will. 

I'm not going to commit to any particular schedule in terms of when I will blog and what a will blog about, these posts will simply come as and when they flow from my head. I hope you enjoy reading this blog and I'm sure I will enjoy writing it. Please do not hesitate to follow me if you want to follow my journey. Goodnight.

Chloe.