Why I Consider Myself To Be A Feminist

I consider myself to be extremely lucky because I was able to grow up in a very gender neutral home. By this I mean that, despite my parents having 3 daughters and my poor father being massively out numbered, my parents had equal responsibility and control over taking care of us and of our home and security. As a family, we have never been rich but never been poor either. This meant that both of my parents had to work. They both had to be bringing in an income to put food on the table and keep us comfortable. They equally split expenses and bills and they've always had to share things like cars rather than have their own. Because of this, as a child I had no idea that gender inequality even existed. I didn't know it was a thing. I strongly believe this is how every child should grow up, regardless of whether their mum stays at home to take care of them and their dad works or the other way around. Whatever roles your parents play in terms of taking care of you, it should never be because they're a girl or because they're a boy. 

 A few weeks ago I had to write a speech for an english speaking exam and I talked about feminism and gender inequality in the music industry because I've come to notice sexism a lot more in the last couple of years. Music is my main hobby and so I notice these things a lot more than any others. Writing songs is a creative outlet for most musicians; it's therapeutic and it's their job. My absolute idol, Taylor Swift has been bullied and scrutinized at an extreme level over the last 4+ years by the media for writing songs about her ex-boyfriends. She has been made to feel like she can't even go out on a date with somebody because she has such horrible things said about her. The reason this is unfair isn't just because of the fact that it's her private life and her choice, but also because she's not the only artist to write about their exes. Nobody calls Ed Sheeran a slut for writing about Ellie Goulding. Nobody says that about Bruno Mars either. The whole outlook on female songwriters being sluts for writing about their partners comes from a place of such sexism that it worries me on a daily bases that young girls read these headlines and absorb the message that it's a reality that women are sluts but men can do whatever they want. Moreover, it worries me even further of how sexualised female musicians are. I personally do not approve of the way Miley Cyrus has taken her career in terms of exposing herself on that kind of level to an audience. This isn't because I think she's a slut because I don't, it's her body and her choice; however, what worries me is the fact that young, impressionable girls watch her and look up to her and she completely disregards what impact her choices have on young people. She claims that it's okay because she's not anyone's 'parent' but she has a responsibility that comes with fame to send out a good message and the message she is sending out is far from healthy. 

 She's sending out a message that says for a woman to be interesting and entertaining, she has to be sexually exploiting herself by wearing next to nothing and inappropriately touching herself. The worst part it, I don't blame her to be honest. I blame her production and management team for allowing it and probably encouraging it. The reason she's behaving this way is because the media encourages women to be sexy and desirable. You can guarantee that if Miley came out to perform wearing an elegant dress and she just stood and sang the song, she would be labelled as boring. Female singers are made to feel like they have to exploit themselves and that cannot be a nice way to feel. You never ever see male performers dancing around a stage in a Mancini... at least not very often. This is clearly because men aren't as sexualised as women. Women are expected to be sexy for male pleasure and it makes me so angry. We shouldn't be allowing the media to raise the next generation to be sexist and insecure but that's where this is going. 

 The media isn't the only example of sexism that I've noticed throughout my life. In fact, there have been so many things that I've seen as unfair especially when I was growing up. I've previously mentioned how I wasn't aware of gender inequality as a young child, I didn't notice any kind of injustice until I was at primary school. Sexism is so apparent in schools that it's worrying. The primary school I went to had a football pitch. Literally all of the boys would play football at play time because they liked it. I knew so many girls at primary school that loved sports and would have loved to play football at lunch times but I only ever saw a few of them over there. It wasn't that the boys wouldn't 'let them play,' if a girl was brave enough to ask (she had to ask mind you) the boys were happy enough to let them join in. What I noticed more than this was the fact that our whole team of FEMALE teachers would encourage the girls to play with the 'girl' toys at break times. This meant the skipping ropes etc. There were a fair few of teachers that would make derogatory comments very subtly to the girls who liked playing football which clearly made them feel uncomfortable with the fact that they liked the sport. Why are adults so keen to categorise certain activities with gender?

 Another issue at my primary school that I've always remembered was during the summer when my older sister wanted to wear shorts to school. Our summer uniform was a hideous summer dress for girls and black or grey shorts for boys. My mum went and asked our head teacher if my sister could wear shorts to school throughout the summer because she didn't like the dresses. My head teacher wouldn't allow it. He said to let her wear shorts would be 'opening a can of worms' and soon all of the girls would want to wear them. I've never understood that. Why are clothes not gender neutral? Why was it a bad thing for girls to wear shorts?

 I noticed this whole issue with schools and uniforms when I started at secondary school and realised just how much teachers sexualise girls. The main uniform rule at my school for girls is to wear your skirt on your knee or we are punished with detentions and/or litter pickings. The biggest uniform rule for boys at my school is that they have to wear black socks. The punishment for coloured socks is being told to wear black ones. Not only is that slightly unfair but the female uniform rules are completely unjustified. We have to wear our skirt on the knee because it will distract the boys, because it's provocative. Obviously most girls roll their skirts up and I can honestly tell you that the boys couldn't care less. What's negative about this message is that it instantly tells girls that for them to show skin is wrong. It's negative for them to want to look good in what they wear. Moreover, the attitude towards boys exposing themselves is completely unequal. The are several boys in my year group who like to walk around with their trousers covering very little of their backsides and exposing very disgusting and probably dirty underwear. The punishment for this, nothing. I've never seen a boy get in trouble for showing their UNDERWEAR but heaven forbid a girl reveals a tiny bit of her thigh. The over sexualisation of girls in schools isn't only unfair but it's dangerous to put those kind of opinions into young girls heads. It automatically makes girls feel dirty for wanting to look nice and makes boys think that girls dress a certain way only to impress them. It allows boys to assume that they have a right and control over the female body and how much they get to see. This isn't the case at all, we just want to look a way that makes us feel good and boys should be taught to accept how much or little is on show. 

 I didn't even know that feminism existed until last Autumn when Emma Watson kicked off the HeForShe campaign promoting gender equality. That's how little feminism was being encouraged. Listening to her speak about how she's seen women's rights disregarded and how she herself has been sexualised by the media made me realise something... I am a feminist. She spoke about so many things that I had been angered by and I finally felt like I had found a voice for my views. I've always looked up to Emma Watson. Not only is she talented and beautiful but she is so intelligent and so well educated. She has given out such a good message to young girls especially seeing as she went back to college post Harry Potter even though she had a career in her hands. I am so thankful that she is promoting gender equality because people look up to her. This is what we need to do. Use the media platform to promote equality rather than sexualising women. 

 One thing that bothers me more than gender inequality is the misunderstanding of the term 'feminism.' A friend of mine told me that he thinks the name is sexist and I can see why men get confused and think that feminism is man hating. The beliefs of a feminist are called feminism because for decades and centuries it was the woman's way of thinking. It was the feminine way to fight for gender equality because men used to have more power. I feel fortunate to be able to say that that it no longer the case; however, there are still issues of gender inequality that BOTH genders fall victim too. Feminism isn't just fighting to make women equal, but fighting to make everyone equal. We want equality for men too. 

 I watched This Morning on Tuesday and was so deeply offended by Peter Lloyd's opinions on feminism. He said that we'd gone too far and that women had too much power. He said that women were becoming more equal than men. This makes no sense. How can something be more equal than another thing? An equal split means 50/50 and that's what we're heading towards, for men and for women. He expressed that he thought the feminist view was destroying marriage and making men lose their manhood. For goodness sake. The tone in which he spoke correlated with the misconception that feminism means man hating. He clearly misunderstood feminism for trying to overtake men and therefore was afraid that he would lose his precious 'manhood.' This is so wrong. Feminism is the fight for equality not the fight for women. 

 There are so many injustices against men as well as women. I feel so sorry for men. It pains me to know that men are made to feel like they can't cry or show any emotion. The one thing that makes us human and allows us to express negative emotions and you have it stripped away from you in the need to appear strong and powerful. Let me tell you a secret, for women, there is nothing stronger than a man who can openly cry. It's the most attractive thing. You don't need to be robots and suppress your feelings because it's natural. Men shouldn't feel like they can't express sadness and they definitely shouldn't give off the impression to other men that it's wrong to cry.

 It's like men are made to feel like they can't be victimised and if they are, it's their fault. I watched a social experiment video the other day where 2 actors pretended to be a couple walking through a park full of unsuspecting people. The couple then began to argue and in the first experiment, the man hit the woman. So many people then came over and did the obvious: they yelled at him and comforted her. In the second experiment, she hit him. Nobody came to stick up for him. Most people only watched and the continued walking; one woman shouted 'good for you, don't let him push you around.' Why are there such double standards? Why do we assume that men can't be victimised? Men need just as much support as women do and violence is never okay whether it's a man to a woman or a woman to a man.    

 For women, I think one of the biggest issues of gender equality is that men seem to be able to go around and sleep with as many women as they like but if women do the same thing they're sluts. It makes me angry. Sex is a personal choice and nobody else's business. It shouldn't matter if a woman has slept with 2 people or 20. So long as nobody gets hurt by it who cares? The most worrying thing for me is that some of the harshest criticism I've received in my life isn't from men, it's from other women. How can we expect men to see us on an equal level if we can't support each other? Do you remember that epic line from mean girls: "You've got to stop calling each other sluts and whores, it just makes it okay for guys to call you sluts and whores" - That is the most accurate thing I've ever heard in my life. 

 There are such subtle issues of gender inequality that are brushed over in everyday life. For example, the idea that women will get paid less than men for the exact same job, the idea that men shouldn't wear makeup. There's also the idea of gender roles. Feminists are massively misunderstood when it comes to gender roles. I've mentioned that I was lucky enough to grow up in a house where gender roles didn't exist and so I've never understood the logic behind the idea. The whole 'girls belong in the kitchen' stereotype is so unhealthy and offensive! Many people assume that because I'm a feminist I would be unwilling to cook for my family and would put up a fuss if I needed to clean. 

 Let me tell you one thing and if you take only one thing from this post, let it be this: I would love nothing more than to take care of my family, cook for them, wash their clothes etc. but I don't want the to be expected of me because I'm a girl. 

 As soon as we breed out the idea of gender roles, I'm pretty sure the rest of gender inequality will follow. My generation is full of feminists and it's so uplifting to see. I genuinely believe that if we encourage feminism it will be achieved once the sexists die out. That sounds very fascist but unfortunately it the truth. Sexism is a very old fashioned thing that's becoming more dated as time goes on. It's now more accepted to be a feminist that it is to believe in sexism and if we encourage our children to practice equality then it will be achieved. For me, I am comforted by how much feminism has increased since the HeForShe campaign kicked off. In under a year, we have achieved so much and that can only increase. My message to you is don't misunderstand feminism, it's no longer the female way. Gender equality is for everyone, both genders. If men encourage each other and women and women encourage each other and men, we can start to have equal opportunities and equal expectations of ourselves and each other. We need to let go of all the prejudice and encourage feminism. It's not man hating.