Competition.

The whole world is full of competition. In a way it seems wrong, to constantly be at war with ourselves and the world around us; however, I think we would all fall apart without it. 

 I know so many people who constantly feel in competition not only with others but even with themselves. In some ways it can be really unhealthy to feel at such an extent that you're not good enough; you end up loathing yourself. I used to absolutely torture myself with pictures of 'perfect' girls and celebrities begging myself to be 'more like them.' It was only a few years ago, when my music really started to take off and I found some decent friends, that I realised I didn't need to be more like anybody except myself. Finding who you are is a key factor in becoming self confident. 

 Insecurities are deadly little monsters that live inside every single human being's brain. Everyone has days where they feel like they're not as good as other people and do you know what? I think that is absolutely as healthy as getting your 5 a day. I can honestly say I would hate to be 100% comfortable with every single aspect of my life. Just think about it, without some sort of insecurity you would have no goals, no aspirations, nothing to work for or to gain. We need to have that little 'niggle' in the back of our minds to keep us going and to push us forwards. It's important. 

 Speaking mainly to girls here (sorry boys.) I think everybody, regardless of age or school or hobby or any other contributing factor, knows that 'Perfect Girl.' You know, the one with the flawless instagram feed with 1000's of followers and she gets 100's of likes on each picture. The one whose tumblr account gets hundreds of asks per day about how flawless she is. The one who can draw perfectly or always wears the most precise cat flick eyeliner you have ever seen in your entire life. But do you know something, that 'Perfect Girl.' hasn't the slightest notion that she is the 'Perfect Girl.' I will bet you any money that she sits on instagram looking at pictures of Mila Kunis sobbing into ice cream and writing into a journal about how she will never be as perfect as her. That is because she will have insecurities too, everyone does. I will also bet you that there is some girl at your school flicking through your facebook photos right now wishing she could be more like you. It's a teenage cycle and it will never ever change. And believe me, I know how frustrating it is to see a girl who is everything you want to be but everything that you will never be and the easiest thing to do is just hate that girl with every fibre of your being, but that only makes you more miserable. 

 I still remember the day my mother pointed out to me that celebrity images were 'air brushed.' Not that 11 year old me understood what air brushing was. We were in the car, parked in a car park somewhere waiting for something, I was looking at the cover of Pixie Lott's album 'Turn It Up' that we were obsessed with that month. I must have mentioned something about how perfect she looked and how flawless her skin was and my mum said to me 'It's only because it's airbrushed, I bet she has spots.' And to be completely honest, I didn't understand nor care, and I carried on being mesmerised by how perfect these celebrities were. I also remember when I reached the age of 13 and realised that the reason my girl friends on facebook were getting 200+ likes on pictures was because of an app called Picnik. You could go on and airbrush your own photos and add filters and all sorts. I tried it and was hooked. I refused to post any 'selfie' without first giving it a thorough once over on Picnik to make sure I looked 'flawless.' This then led to another belt of low self esteem when I still didn't get as many likes as my friends. It's only now that I look back in horror of how much the media is taking over the way we feel about ourselves. It's bad enough that we were forced to look at images of impossibly perfect celebrities but now we have to make ourselves look a fake kind of perfect too? It's as if we are being given the tools to completely tear apart the idea of self confidence and natural beauty. 

 The past few years I've become much less interested about how I appear on social media. I don't put as much effort into it because it really doesn't matter to me anymore. Once you find people who like you for who you are, it doesn't matter as much what people think of the 'online' version of yourself. I now use social media to promote my music more than anything else. I don't really worry about not being good enough anymore. Don't get me wrong, I still have my 'I'm worthless' days/weeks where I think about nothing else apart from how everyone else is prettier/more talented/funnier/more what ever else you can think of, than me. In fact, it was one of those days that inspired this blog post. However, I don't ever really act on it. I hardly ever spend much time editing photos anymore and if I do it's only because I quite enjoy doing it. I don't sit for hours with the 'blemish fix' tool editing out that one beauty spot that I hate with a passion. It just seems pointless to me when I could be writing a song in that time or learning a new cover. If you can find the things that you're good at, rather than fussing over the things that other people are naturally good at, you will become much more confident in yourself. I guarantee you that. 

 Some people are naturally good at posing in pictures. Some people are naturally very good at art. Some people are crazy talented when it comes to acting or film production. There's a quote from Albert Einstein that says  "everybody is genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid." I think it could be applied here. The point I'm trying to make is that, if you spend hours torturing yourself because somebody else is better than you at something, you're making things so much worse for yourself. That same person probably spends hours looking at something you can do and wishing they could be more like you. It's almost like a really famous actor telling themselves they're talent-less because Leonardo Divinci was better at painting than them! You have talents and they have talents and we are all special in our own rights.

What I would like for you do is this: Comment in the space below one thing that you can do really well. One thing you're proud of no matter how big or small. Then next time you find yourself staring at that 'Perfect Girl' on instagram I want you to turn off your phone and spend some time working on whatever that talent is. We meet no ordinary people in this life, if you give them a chance everyone has something special to offer. 

Goodnight, Chloe x.