Life Update

Between painting my nails and writing endless amounts of poetry, I decided to just write one of my chatty little 'lifey' posts because I haven't really just talked to you guys in ages. 

 I have recently started sixth form at a new college which I love. You all know how much I absolutely hated school to the point where I was riddled with anxiety every evening and morning just at the thought of going. Somehow I managed to leave with 1 C, 6 Bs and 4 As in my GCSE's which I was so proud of after being so miserable for 5 years. I have always been a dedicated learner and student; I want to do well. So I knew I could afford to take a risk when moving schools because I was dedicated enough to make sure I succeeded. I'm so glad I moved. So so glad. This way I get to make sure that I enjoy the next two years of my life as opposed to being miserable. 

 When I picked up my GCSE grades I had two of the senior members of staff beg me to stay which was the most satisfying moment of my life. Once particularly pompous teacher, who had previously insulted me in a rather obvious, sexest manor the year before, stated how he thought I would have been one to stay. How ignorant adults can be to their lack of respect for pupils?

 I'm studying three subjects at A Level: Creative Writing, English Literature and History. I'm either going to study Journalism or Songwriting at University depending on how I do and where I chose to go (If i can afford uni.) 

 Music is going really well. I've stopped really caring about what reception I have. After spending 70% of my 12 weeks off school busking for driving lesson funds, I have a new respect for the music I make. It's me. I put all of myself into it and so I don't mind making a video for a hundred views when others get thousands because I know it's the best I can do. I love performing my music but I don't think I could handle that as a career. I think being famous would drive me crazy... there's no way I could ever handle it! I love the idea of writing songs as a living though. I love doing that so much! And if I could study it so I'm better at writing on demand it would be incredible. 

 In terms of my future, I'm trying to keep my mind pretty clear at the moment. As we all know from recent posts: I made the mistake over the last year of planning my entire life around one person and then it all fell apart when that one person who promised to always stay left. So I have this little plan for myself. I want to get education done and hopefully get a pretty decent job as a writer. Maybe I could even work from home giving me freedom away from a workplace. I want to rent a little flat in Stratford because I love it there and that's where I gig the most. Nothing fancy, just somewhere that's mine. I don't want to move straight in with a boyfriend. I'd rather know I can survive by myself first. Then a man can slot into my life comfortably rather than me slotting into theirs when they're my whole world. Once I leave the nest I don't ever want to have to come back.

 I've just painted my nails in the Barry M Rose Hip gelly nail polish and my whole body is covered in henna. I have built up a sixth form wardrobe that I love and feel confident in. I have these amazing heeled ankle boots that make my feet do the clicky heel thing when I walk on hard floor which makes me feel so grown up! I get to write poetry and stories as part of school and I get free periods every day which mean I can walk around the town I love with new friends that make me feel accepted. 

 I'm really starting to feel like who I am is good enough.