Mind Your Own Biscuits And Life Will Be Gravy.

It's been a little while since I posted anything on here for a couple of reasons. After my last post (now deleted) I felt a bit wary of logging into my blog and checking things out because I was afraid, and rightly so as it turns out, of the consequences. My reasons for writing that post were simply to get out some really negative feelings and explain why the tone of my recent posts had been fairly melancholic. I expected to have horrible comments: people telling me to keep it inside or that no one really cares, all those regular, generic internet comments. What I didn't expect from telling you the story of mine and my ex boyfriend's split was for someone who used to be in his life to use and manipulate my trust and that post for their own personal gain. The thing is, he's still somebody that I care about and love deeply for reasons that I do not have to justify to anybody and it makes me sick that I allowed someone to use this blog to hurt him. 

 It made me want to write a little something about forgiveness. 

 We all make mistakes. Every single day people do things they shouldn't do and say things they shouldn't say. We're human, it's what we do. Some mistakes are bigger than others and so the consequences vary depending on the extent of the damage. It's easy to take out anger on people when they hurt us, it's much harder to forgive somebody. Forgiveness is something we have every single right to go back on. But you can not go back on your forgiveness and expect to be able to take out the same consequences on the person who wronged you. People change. People learn from mistakes. The person who hurt you years ago isn't the same person today. They've changed and they've grown. You can't expect to be able to hold them accountable for something they may have regretted and changed about themselves when they aren't the person who made that mistake anymore. This is my personal opinion and you don't have to agree with me, I am aware there are some circumstances where you can't forget what someone has done to you. But when you know it wasn't their fault and have accepted that, when you know they weren't being malicious in their actions you can not rewrite history and decide all of a sudden the circumstances were different and they are actually a bad person. The circumstances in which you allowed them to believe there were no hard feelings hasn't changed, you changing your mind on how you feel doesn't change what actually happened between the two of you. 

 Another person's heartbreak isn't yours. You may think it's the same as what you've been through previously but it probably isn't. Everyone is different. You can care about a friend when they get hurt and it can make you angry but, without permission, it isn't your situation to act upon. Whether you believe you're protecting someone or not, you have to keep your feelings to yourself. Similarly, if someone hurt you in the past, it doesn't mean they'll hurt every other person they meet in the exact same way. It's not for you to investigate and drag the details out of people so you can then decide for yourself that you have a right to interfere. Once somebody is out of your life, you don't then have a right to comment upon what goes on in theirs and who they decide to have around. It's quite frankly none of your business. People move on and they grow and they change. Someone you knew 2 years ago could be virtually a stranger now. No one stays the same person forever. 

 This is the hardest thing to accept when someone has hurt you but they have just as much a right to move on with their life as you do. As humans, we are much happier in love. Once that love goes wrong, we are happier when we replace it. Your love went wrong for a reason. Just because you're bitter about it, it doesn't mean they should be punished forever. If you can be happy with somebody else then so should they be no matter what they've done. No matter what you end up feeling for them in the future. 

 My last post was too personal and I should have known it would end badly. There were many issues that happened way in the past that I should have considered, people I should have known I couldn't trust but I hope that who ever reads this now can let go of whatever negative energy they have. Don't let yourself screw up someone's life if they're not still damaging yours. There's no need. It's wasted energy. I'm going to leave you with one of my favourite songs right now: I'll just do me and honey you can just do you.