Moving On

Hello internet friends. It's been a little while. 

 So much is changing right now, in fact, everything is changing. It's scary. I don't think I have ever been more afraid of life than I am when I currently try to fall asleep at night. However, not all changes are bad and I think I have learned more in the last couple of weeks than I have in the entire 12 years I have spent in full time education. 

 My official last day of school was on Wednesday and I was lucky enough to round up what has been a horrific 5 years at a school I have hated by performing for my year group in our leavers assembly. I carried around my guitar with me all day and am sure I will be remembered for eternity as the girl sat in the corner cuddling a guitar case. There are worse things to be remembered for, I'm sure. Leaving school really put things into perspective for me. When it comes to taking pictures with people you may never see again and signing year books and saying goodbye, you really realise who has influenced you and who you will rapidly forget. When it came to writing a message for the people I believed had made massive impacts on my life, I found myself struggling to know what to say. "Oh yeah thanks for breaking my heart in year 10, really appreciate it." or "Oh btw, thanks for making me insecure about wearing my glasses after all the derogatory comments in year 7." You realise that those things you thought would matter for the rest of your life just don't anymore because that person is just another face you never have to see again. Similarly, I realised who really had influenced me. People I always thought I'd never get along with I found myself writing essays. People who have grown so much since we were 12, who now have their own views and opinions and are real people with values. I couldn't be prouder of the most of the people I got to grow up with. The transition between being a year 7 and a year 11 is incredible because you change so much without even realising it. 

 The only thing that made me really tear up that day was when I went to say goodbye to my favourite English teacher and had to explain to her why I wouldn't be staying on for 6th form at Chipping Campden School. It was remarkable because I didn't have to explain, she just understood. Most teachers ended up questioning me for hours about why I'd hated it there so much but she was the one woman who had got to know her class so much that she knew what we were thinking. That's when I really realised how much I am influenced by strong, sassy women. It really broke my heart that she wouldn't be teaching me next year. 

 I entered that school with no idea who I really was. I left school with a lot of bad memories, but also a lot of really lovely ones due to some really special people that I feel so lucky to have met. I left with scars that might never heal but I wouldn't be without them. Most importantly, I left knowing exactly who I am and what I want out of life. I may never remember Pythagoras' theorem or ever  use Trigonometry (Sorry Mr W.)  But I will never lose touch with the person I have become not because of the school I hated, but because of the students I adored. 

 I have always been one to over plan for the future. It's not necessarily a bad thing but it hasn't done me many favours either because so much can change literally in a blink of an eye. You might just lose the person that you thought would always stay. The person who you thought would always be protecting you may become the very person you need shielding from. The friend you thought cared about you the most might be the one waiting with a knife for your back. You will never ever know a person as well as you know yourself. And so one thing I have had to learn the hard way is that you should never ever under any circumstances put another person before yourself. Ever. Because they probably wouldn't do the same for you. That's the one piece of advice I would give the the people that have influenced me to take with them where ever they go. 

 "People don't always understand the promises they make when they make them" - John Green 

Don't ever give anyone else the opportunity to burn out your flame. Protect yourself but don't build up walls. There's a fine line between self protection and self destruction. 

 I found myself awake at an unsociable hour yesterday morning due to unseen circumstances and I ended up watching Ingrid Nilsen's coming out video multiple times because I found it so breathtakingly beautiful and heartwarming. She emotionally told a story that opened my eyes to how mysterious people are. You can think you know a person inside out yet in the deepest corners of their mind they could be holding a secret so painful and tragic yet so innocent that it's unfair. So another thing that I learned because of that is that you should never judge a person you don't know fully. You can never completely know somebody but losing your patience with someone isn't always justified. You will never know what a person is dealing with or what's going through there mind so take everything with a pinch of salt. People don't make choices without good reason, people wont push you away without good reason. The person who snapped at you when they spoke this morning could be dealing with anything. It's a good idea to find the perfect medium between giving people the benefit of the doubt and then letting people take advantage of you. 

 One thing Ingrid repeated throughout her influential video is that we all deserve our best chance, which brings me back onto the idea of always putting yourself first. That's the most valuable yet painful lesson I have ever learned. Sometimes you have to cut people off because all they will ever do is hurt you. You have to do that to give yourself your best chance. Sometimes you have to abandon the people you love most to get away from a toxic environment. Simply because you deserve your best chance at a full life. So my last piece of advice to all of my classmates is just do whatever the fuck you want: travel, take way too many selfies, talk to strangers (not creepy ones, be sensible about it ), forget appointments and do fun stuff instead, leave a job that makes you unhappy, give a cute guy your number, say no, say yes, make a scrapbook, write a journal and never ever lose touch with who you really are. And always remember that who you are is whoever the frickle frackle you want to be. 

 To anyone wondering why I didn't stay at that school, it's because I needed to give myself my best chance. 

 "I'm giving myself my best chance, and so should you" - Ingrid Nilsen. 

The Girl On The Train

My mother and I had to take several train journeys in order to get my dress for my prom next month. One one of these journeys this girl got on the same train as us and sat opposite us because there were no seats. At first I was a bit annoyed because she was one of those people that talk very loudly on their phone the whole way there; moreover, it was rather hard not to take notice of her. It sounds creepy but she was incredible. She had this style and this unique character and I was literally in awe from the second she got on the train. 

 She had clearly perfected the 70's hippy look. She had the flared trousers that didn't look tacky at all. She owned it. Her hair was this gorgeous wavy blonde that was then dip died a bright, fiery red and she had the most amazing shade of red lipstick on to match. Her skin was flawless. She had these mesmerising dream catcher earings and the feathers  came right down to the bottom of her hair. Her nails were filed into perfect points and they were also bright red. I said to my mum as soon as we got off the train, "she looked amazing" and she had to agree. 

 I have no idea why I remember this girl so vividly or why I even took that much notice. I figure it was her individuality. She wasn't the kind of girl you'd see in the fashion magazines or on a cat walk yet she was stunning and her whole image was on point. 

 Since that journey I've looked all over the internet for a pair of earings like hers. I've been desperate to dip die my hair some wacky but awesome colour. I've wanted to wear clothes I wouldn't usually wear. Because of this, I've come to a conclusion that I've never really considered before. I'm desperate to be anybody besides who I actually am. 

 I don't know why, and I'm certain I'm not the only one but I'm fascinated by other people yet completely disheartened by myself. It's as if my insecurities are caused by my own critique and it's almost like a never ending cycle. I spend way too much time looking at other people's instagram accounts and feeling like I'm not good enough because I'm not them. But why am I not happy enough with myself?

 I don't understand why I worry about this so much or why the girl on the train had such a massive influence on the way I see myself but I'd just love to be that girl. I'd love to have a style that nobody else had and just be so comfortable with who I am that it doesn't matter if someone doesn't adore me because I'd adore myself. I think that's everyone's goal really. I don't know how close I am to achieving it but I know that since having this realisation, I've become more eager to find out who I am. 

 I know I'm a feminist. I know what colours I like wearing and what makeup I like to do. I know I love writing. I know that I love music. I know that I hate inequality and I also am sure that I'm passionate. But I have no idea what to do with these things and what good they will do me. It's a scary place to be in but also really interesting. I know that the person I am now is completely different to the person I was a year ago and I know the person I will be a year from now will be completely different to this version of myself. I know that I can use pain to drive me forwards. I think you need to realise these things to become happy enough within yourself to continue because I no longer feel like I'm drifting because I know that I matter and that I'm worth it. For the first time I don't feel like I need anybody to prove that to me. 

 I'm not sure how this post ended up where it did. I just needed to write something and see where it went. 

YouTube Is The Future

I think that because last time I wrote about the negative impacts the media has in terms of the removal of privacy and exploitation of youth, I needed to write about something positive to even things out. As a society, our lives seem to revolve around entertainment and watching the lives of other people. The increase in the popularity of reality TV shows highlights how intrigued we are by other people's lifestyle. 

 I personally dislike the soaps you can watch on TV. Supposedly capturing everyday life, the over dramatic emphasis on disasters such as weekly explosions, car crashes and death make things rather unbelievable and frankly soul destroying. In terms of real life, I'd much rather watch a vlog. 

 The thing I love most about YouTube is how the people are real people. Anyone could upload a video and have a million subscribers. You don't have to be unrealistically perfect or have boob implants in order to have people watch your videos. And there are YouTubers that make every single genre of video you can imagine. It's like one great big TV network that you can watch on your own terms. 

 The fact that you can have a contract with YouTube and make money off of making the videos is such a good idea for the YouTubers themselves and for the people watching. People are more likely to watch those videos made by people who have earned their platform than some fake family on the TV that waste their money on fake duck lips. If you think about it on a wider scale, we're on the way to ruling out the whole 'Fake Celebrity' status by producing a new platform to overtake the old one. 

 I hardly ever watch TV. I find it boring. Real life is much more entertaining for me and for the people I know too. There are videos for every type of person and their interests. Personally, I love watching a good vlog on a sunday evening - Hannah Magg's videos are edited beautifully and will put you in such a good mood! There doesn't seem to be any reason to need a TV anymore. Give it a few decades and no one will be watching Eastenders and dull shows like that when you could watch the Sacconejolys and actually see what real life is like for a family. 

 Not only does it give out a better message to younger people giving them much healthier role models (Kim Kardashian VS Zoella...hmm tricky one) but it's also beneficial for the people starring in these videos. A lot of people would find this controversial especially when it comes to family vloggers because they're putting their children in the public eye; however, you only have to watch the sacconejolys once to realise how beneficial  Anna and Jonothan's career is on their children. Emilia and Eduardo are so confident and have such a great relationship with their parents because Anna and Jonothan get to stay at home and bring up their children rather than constantly leave them with different strangers whilst they go to work. Another positive outlook to have is how you only see 15 minutes of their day and they can make a living out of that! I'll admit, I'm slightly jealous but it's so good for them because they get to put all their time into their family! 

By being able to make a career out of making videos you can specialize in something you enjoy and not have to work in a field that you felt was more practical despite not being the slightest bit interested. 

 YouTube might not be for everybody, but so many YouTubers have found a career they love out of it and escaped a life they would otherwise have hated. It makes having an interesting job so much easier because you don't have to have media platforms interested in exploiting you. You just have to have regular people have the same things in common as you do. I'm an advocate for sending out positive messages to the younger generations and I think in the future younger people would much rather watch YouTube than TV and thus the false media image will become less prominent in our everyday lives.  It's an interesting thing to think about... Do we need the television or do we just need a wide screen computer? 

I Hate The Media

In the last year or so I have become much more opinionated about certain things than I used to be. I'm not sure whether this is because I'm finding myself or if it's simply that I'm becoming more educated and smarter therefore more aware of the world around me. I have realised many things over recent months including my passion for feminism and a new love for writing. But one thing that I've found myself getting increasingly angry and frustrated about is the growing callous nature of the media. 

 As we are all aware, due to the media coverage, that the new Royal Baby was delivered on Saturday morning. She is beautiful. It's not surprising that the growing population of Britain is seemingly obsessed with her already. However, I not only found the media's infatuation disturbing but even more so offensive. Imagine it for yourselves: either you yourself or your wife has just given birth and you can't even go to visit her without being photographed and filmed? We've all seen the video of the gorgeous Prince George being carried into the hospital to MEET his own sister for the first time but of course, before he could he had to stand and wave to a bunch of strangers with his Daddy. I'm not implying that it was wrong for William to encourage George to do this; he has to do so in order to prevent negative headlines. But isn't that tragic that the media stole priority over the baby? 

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 What I thought was even sadder than this was when Kate and Will left the hospital to bring their daughter home. Not even a day old and cameras zoomed in to get the first picture of her face. Again, they stood and waved before preparing the baby and getting her safely in the car to leave. It breaks my heart that they can't share that private moment together in peace. I couldn't imagine having to politely allow a group of strangers to snap images of my new born baby before I could even go home and enjoy her myself. 



 Considerably crueler than this was the reaction of the general public to Will and Kate's desire for some privacy. I took to twitter to convey my views on their departure in which my comments were of a similar tone to this post. I was disgusted by the amount of negative comments from people I know! One girl stated how she felt it was 'rude' that Will and Kate didn't speak to the media when they came out. For goodness sake. I don't think I would want to speak to a bunch of people invading my private moment if I had just given birth either. They're real people. Another girl replied to one of my tweets to state how amusing she found it that I referred to the couple as Will and Kate as if I am 'super chummy with them.' Of course I'm not but those are their names? They're people with names. Kate's birth name isn't The Duchess Of Cambridge it's Catherine. Why shouldn't they be called by their names? They're people! 

 This morning I even saw negative comments from people on Facebook slagging Kate off for how she looked when she came out of hospital. I can admit, I even felt slightly disheartened after seeing her leave and hoped desperately that I can look that good after I give birth. But the tone and nature of these comments were disturbing. Obviously she had to make herself up because she knew there were people outside waiting to photograph her! If she had left in joggers with her hair pulled up on her head like I'm sure she wanted to, think of all the preposterous articles we would have woken up to this morning? 

 Do you not think it's tragic how much effort she had to put in just to make sure no one said anything bad about her?

The media has this kind of effect on every single celebrity and it can either coerce them into taking extra care of their words and appearance in order to convey a positive image or it can send them over the edge. 

 I swear by Taylor Swift. I will stick up for her until the end of the earth because of how much effort she has put in to give off a positive image. There has not been one scandal in her almost 10 year career. The worst thing the media can say about her is that she dates a lot of people and I have written in my previous post how sexist and cruel I think that is. Not only does Taylor make sure to write and act in a way that is healthy for young girls to look up to but she addresses this publicly often in order to convey to everyone how important it is that the media emits a positive image. 
 She said this in an interview on 60 minutes:  “I definitely think about a million people when I am getting dressed in the morning,” “That’s just part of my life now. I think it’s my responsibility to know it and to be conscious of it.”. “It would be really easy to say…I’m 21 now. I do what I want. You raise your kids. But…that’s not the truth of it. The truth of it is that every singer out there with songs on the radio is raising the next generation. So make your words count.” 
 Not only this, but Taylor has to put in intense effort into her appearance every time she leaves the gym or goes out for a walk and when questioned about this, she is again very honest. A million people are going to be looking at her and taking pictures of her because of her career. 
What is heartbreaking about the influence the media has had on Taylor Swift is how much it has changed her attitude to what she wants from life. As a huge Swiftie (and proud of it) I have watched Taylor grow from a hopeful 16 year old girl to a strong willed, intelligent young woman. You can hear this heartbreaking reality in her lyrics, in her interviews and in her honesty. From a young age and since her young debut she was determined to have a family. She wanted to get married and give up her career to bring up a family in order to follow in her mother's footsteps. She talked about it in so many interviews. That was the life she really wanted. Since then she wrote a tragically accurate song called 'The Lucky One' that found it's place on her fourth studio album: RED. The song is about how invaded the lives of celebrities are by the media. Since then, Taylor has stated how she would never have children. She thinks it would be cruel to try to convince them they have a 'normal life' when they would have strange men constantly putting cameras in their faces. 

 Again, this conveys the tragic intrusion of the Royal Family's privacy because they couldn't make that choice. They have a duty to carry on the family. Will and Kate could never decide they didn't want to expose a family to the media. 

It breaks my heart that the media have scared Taylor into not having her family because of the cruel way they have intruded into her private life. 

Many people also talk in a malice way about Miley Cyrus who I have also previously mentioned when talking about sexism. I evaluated in my last post about how her choices and actions are media influenced. I do feel sorry for her because she is made to feel like she has to portray herself in a certain manor; however, I can't help but be angry by how little responsibility she takes. She could have an attitude like Taylor or like so many other celebrities who refuse to be that provocative and take a classier approach but she doesn't. Not only does she allow herself to be sexualised by she completely disregards any responsibility for her actions.
It's almost as if the media's disregard for people's privacy has inspired celebrities to feel like they can use that as an excuse to do whatever they feel like doing. 

Some may argue that being exposed by the media is simply 'part of the job' but it shouldn't be and it never used to be. There used to be singers and movie stars way before there were gossip magazines and corrupt media coverage. It's as if this rise in media usage has left people in the spotlight with little time to adapt and evolve to suit the new type of famous. If you take for example the royal family who go back centuries obviously, there was a time when they could leave their home to go for a walk without being followed by cameras. They could appear looking tired, let their hair go grey, wear what they wanted. Obviously, they would always have had a lot of money to make themselves look presentable but they could do so off their own backs, there wasn't this pressure. It illustrates an image of a fish out of water. The royal family worked even 50-60 years ago when media coverage wasn't as much of an issue but they're not designed for this kind of exposure. This is tragically highlighted in the events of the last 20 or so years regarding the private lives of the royal subjects. 

 You have to be smart to be a celebrity. People such as Justin Bieber, Meghan Trainor and so many others who clearly don't think about what impact their actions and words have result in heartbroken teenagers who think behaving in a certain way is okay. I cannot tell you how thankful I am that I found Taylor and had a good role model or who knows where I would have ended up. 

 It's true: Celebrities are bringing up the next generation through the media. 

This whole outlook has completely scared me away from all of the things I love. I am terrified of getting my dream job. I want nothing more than to take my music all over the world and release albums and tour but I don't think I could handle it even if I had that opportunity. I don't think I'd have the energy to never make a single mistake. I couldn't put that much effort into making sure I always looked right and behaved right. I couldn't cope with the articles and the press and the interviews and always having to say the right thing. 

 I love writing. I plan to do english at university but I have no idea what I could do with it. If I  can make sufficient money from writing this blog then great but I don't want to go into journalism because I find it boring. I could never write for a magazine either. As much as I love fashion and make-up and writing about that stuff I couldn't live with myself if I had to make money of writing horrible things about people. I don't want to write about how a certain celebrity still has stretch marks from the baby she gave birth to a few weeks ago, I mean how dare she? Or have to interview famous people and ask them hurtful, private questions. 

It's cruel. 

When you consider how much these celebrities have sacrificed for us to enjoy their music or films etc. Why should we then take more than they offer? Why bite the hand that feeds you? You don't need to know who they're dating or how many times they've worn a certain outfit. Of course they make a lot of money but no amount of cash could make me want to be exposed like that. I could never do that to somebody either. 

The media is a great thing in some ways. We can learn so much and get in touch with so many things but it scares me how much we are going too far every single day. From all of this pressure on so many people, we are inches away from everything collapsing be it a metaphor or a physical tragedy.    



  

Why I Consider Myself To Be A Feminist

I consider myself to be extremely lucky because I was able to grow up in a very gender neutral home. By this I mean that, despite my parents having 3 daughters and my poor father being massively out numbered, my parents had equal responsibility and control over taking care of us and of our home and security. As a family, we have never been rich but never been poor either. This meant that both of my parents had to work. They both had to be bringing in an income to put food on the table and keep us comfortable. They equally split expenses and bills and they've always had to share things like cars rather than have their own. Because of this, as a child I had no idea that gender inequality even existed. I didn't know it was a thing. I strongly believe this is how every child should grow up, regardless of whether their mum stays at home to take care of them and their dad works or the other way around. Whatever roles your parents play in terms of taking care of you, it should never be because they're a girl or because they're a boy. 

 A few weeks ago I had to write a speech for an english speaking exam and I talked about feminism and gender inequality in the music industry because I've come to notice sexism a lot more in the last couple of years. Music is my main hobby and so I notice these things a lot more than any others. Writing songs is a creative outlet for most musicians; it's therapeutic and it's their job. My absolute idol, Taylor Swift has been bullied and scrutinized at an extreme level over the last 4+ years by the media for writing songs about her ex-boyfriends. She has been made to feel like she can't even go out on a date with somebody because she has such horrible things said about her. The reason this is unfair isn't just because of the fact that it's her private life and her choice, but also because she's not the only artist to write about their exes. Nobody calls Ed Sheeran a slut for writing about Ellie Goulding. Nobody says that about Bruno Mars either. The whole outlook on female songwriters being sluts for writing about their partners comes from a place of such sexism that it worries me on a daily bases that young girls read these headlines and absorb the message that it's a reality that women are sluts but men can do whatever they want. Moreover, it worries me even further of how sexualised female musicians are. I personally do not approve of the way Miley Cyrus has taken her career in terms of exposing herself on that kind of level to an audience. This isn't because I think she's a slut because I don't, it's her body and her choice; however, what worries me is the fact that young, impressionable girls watch her and look up to her and she completely disregards what impact her choices have on young people. She claims that it's okay because she's not anyone's 'parent' but she has a responsibility that comes with fame to send out a good message and the message she is sending out is far from healthy. 

 She's sending out a message that says for a woman to be interesting and entertaining, she has to be sexually exploiting herself by wearing next to nothing and inappropriately touching herself. The worst part it, I don't blame her to be honest. I blame her production and management team for allowing it and probably encouraging it. The reason she's behaving this way is because the media encourages women to be sexy and desirable. You can guarantee that if Miley came out to perform wearing an elegant dress and she just stood and sang the song, she would be labelled as boring. Female singers are made to feel like they have to exploit themselves and that cannot be a nice way to feel. You never ever see male performers dancing around a stage in a Mancini... at least not very often. This is clearly because men aren't as sexualised as women. Women are expected to be sexy for male pleasure and it makes me so angry. We shouldn't be allowing the media to raise the next generation to be sexist and insecure but that's where this is going. 

 The media isn't the only example of sexism that I've noticed throughout my life. In fact, there have been so many things that I've seen as unfair especially when I was growing up. I've previously mentioned how I wasn't aware of gender inequality as a young child, I didn't notice any kind of injustice until I was at primary school. Sexism is so apparent in schools that it's worrying. The primary school I went to had a football pitch. Literally all of the boys would play football at play time because they liked it. I knew so many girls at primary school that loved sports and would have loved to play football at lunch times but I only ever saw a few of them over there. It wasn't that the boys wouldn't 'let them play,' if a girl was brave enough to ask (she had to ask mind you) the boys were happy enough to let them join in. What I noticed more than this was the fact that our whole team of FEMALE teachers would encourage the girls to play with the 'girl' toys at break times. This meant the skipping ropes etc. There were a fair few of teachers that would make derogatory comments very subtly to the girls who liked playing football which clearly made them feel uncomfortable with the fact that they liked the sport. Why are adults so keen to categorise certain activities with gender?

 Another issue at my primary school that I've always remembered was during the summer when my older sister wanted to wear shorts to school. Our summer uniform was a hideous summer dress for girls and black or grey shorts for boys. My mum went and asked our head teacher if my sister could wear shorts to school throughout the summer because she didn't like the dresses. My head teacher wouldn't allow it. He said to let her wear shorts would be 'opening a can of worms' and soon all of the girls would want to wear them. I've never understood that. Why are clothes not gender neutral? Why was it a bad thing for girls to wear shorts?

 I noticed this whole issue with schools and uniforms when I started at secondary school and realised just how much teachers sexualise girls. The main uniform rule at my school for girls is to wear your skirt on your knee or we are punished with detentions and/or litter pickings. The biggest uniform rule for boys at my school is that they have to wear black socks. The punishment for coloured socks is being told to wear black ones. Not only is that slightly unfair but the female uniform rules are completely unjustified. We have to wear our skirt on the knee because it will distract the boys, because it's provocative. Obviously most girls roll their skirts up and I can honestly tell you that the boys couldn't care less. What's negative about this message is that it instantly tells girls that for them to show skin is wrong. It's negative for them to want to look good in what they wear. Moreover, the attitude towards boys exposing themselves is completely unequal. The are several boys in my year group who like to walk around with their trousers covering very little of their backsides and exposing very disgusting and probably dirty underwear. The punishment for this, nothing. I've never seen a boy get in trouble for showing their UNDERWEAR but heaven forbid a girl reveals a tiny bit of her thigh. The over sexualisation of girls in schools isn't only unfair but it's dangerous to put those kind of opinions into young girls heads. It automatically makes girls feel dirty for wanting to look nice and makes boys think that girls dress a certain way only to impress them. It allows boys to assume that they have a right and control over the female body and how much they get to see. This isn't the case at all, we just want to look a way that makes us feel good and boys should be taught to accept how much or little is on show. 

 I didn't even know that feminism existed until last Autumn when Emma Watson kicked off the HeForShe campaign promoting gender equality. That's how little feminism was being encouraged. Listening to her speak about how she's seen women's rights disregarded and how she herself has been sexualised by the media made me realise something... I am a feminist. She spoke about so many things that I had been angered by and I finally felt like I had found a voice for my views. I've always looked up to Emma Watson. Not only is she talented and beautiful but she is so intelligent and so well educated. She has given out such a good message to young girls especially seeing as she went back to college post Harry Potter even though she had a career in her hands. I am so thankful that she is promoting gender equality because people look up to her. This is what we need to do. Use the media platform to promote equality rather than sexualising women. 

 One thing that bothers me more than gender inequality is the misunderstanding of the term 'feminism.' A friend of mine told me that he thinks the name is sexist and I can see why men get confused and think that feminism is man hating. The beliefs of a feminist are called feminism because for decades and centuries it was the woman's way of thinking. It was the feminine way to fight for gender equality because men used to have more power. I feel fortunate to be able to say that that it no longer the case; however, there are still issues of gender inequality that BOTH genders fall victim too. Feminism isn't just fighting to make women equal, but fighting to make everyone equal. We want equality for men too. 

 I watched This Morning on Tuesday and was so deeply offended by Peter Lloyd's opinions on feminism. He said that we'd gone too far and that women had too much power. He said that women were becoming more equal than men. This makes no sense. How can something be more equal than another thing? An equal split means 50/50 and that's what we're heading towards, for men and for women. He expressed that he thought the feminist view was destroying marriage and making men lose their manhood. For goodness sake. The tone in which he spoke correlated with the misconception that feminism means man hating. He clearly misunderstood feminism for trying to overtake men and therefore was afraid that he would lose his precious 'manhood.' This is so wrong. Feminism is the fight for equality not the fight for women. 

 There are so many injustices against men as well as women. I feel so sorry for men. It pains me to know that men are made to feel like they can't cry or show any emotion. The one thing that makes us human and allows us to express negative emotions and you have it stripped away from you in the need to appear strong and powerful. Let me tell you a secret, for women, there is nothing stronger than a man who can openly cry. It's the most attractive thing. You don't need to be robots and suppress your feelings because it's natural. Men shouldn't feel like they can't express sadness and they definitely shouldn't give off the impression to other men that it's wrong to cry.

 It's like men are made to feel like they can't be victimised and if they are, it's their fault. I watched a social experiment video the other day where 2 actors pretended to be a couple walking through a park full of unsuspecting people. The couple then began to argue and in the first experiment, the man hit the woman. So many people then came over and did the obvious: they yelled at him and comforted her. In the second experiment, she hit him. Nobody came to stick up for him. Most people only watched and the continued walking; one woman shouted 'good for you, don't let him push you around.' Why are there such double standards? Why do we assume that men can't be victimised? Men need just as much support as women do and violence is never okay whether it's a man to a woman or a woman to a man.    

 For women, I think one of the biggest issues of gender equality is that men seem to be able to go around and sleep with as many women as they like but if women do the same thing they're sluts. It makes me angry. Sex is a personal choice and nobody else's business. It shouldn't matter if a woman has slept with 2 people or 20. So long as nobody gets hurt by it who cares? The most worrying thing for me is that some of the harshest criticism I've received in my life isn't from men, it's from other women. How can we expect men to see us on an equal level if we can't support each other? Do you remember that epic line from mean girls: "You've got to stop calling each other sluts and whores, it just makes it okay for guys to call you sluts and whores" - That is the most accurate thing I've ever heard in my life. 

 There are such subtle issues of gender inequality that are brushed over in everyday life. For example, the idea that women will get paid less than men for the exact same job, the idea that men shouldn't wear makeup. There's also the idea of gender roles. Feminists are massively misunderstood when it comes to gender roles. I've mentioned that I was lucky enough to grow up in a house where gender roles didn't exist and so I've never understood the logic behind the idea. The whole 'girls belong in the kitchen' stereotype is so unhealthy and offensive! Many people assume that because I'm a feminist I would be unwilling to cook for my family and would put up a fuss if I needed to clean. 

 Let me tell you one thing and if you take only one thing from this post, let it be this: I would love nothing more than to take care of my family, cook for them, wash their clothes etc. but I don't want the to be expected of me because I'm a girl. 

 As soon as we breed out the idea of gender roles, I'm pretty sure the rest of gender inequality will follow. My generation is full of feminists and it's so uplifting to see. I genuinely believe that if we encourage feminism it will be achieved once the sexists die out. That sounds very fascist but unfortunately it the truth. Sexism is a very old fashioned thing that's becoming more dated as time goes on. It's now more accepted to be a feminist that it is to believe in sexism and if we encourage our children to practice equality then it will be achieved. For me, I am comforted by how much feminism has increased since the HeForShe campaign kicked off. In under a year, we have achieved so much and that can only increase. My message to you is don't misunderstand feminism, it's no longer the female way. Gender equality is for everyone, both genders. If men encourage each other and women and women encourage each other and men, we can start to have equal opportunities and equal expectations of ourselves and each other. We need to let go of all the prejudice and encourage feminism. It's not man hating. 

Spring Clothing Haul

I decided upon doing a much more lighthearted post this week that would be a little bit more fun and easy to read. I have recently done some online shopping which was a bit of a roller coaster. Being such an awkward size makes buying clothes very difficult because even small UK sizes are huge. I found myself spending a little bit more money than I usually would just to order from shops that feature petite ranges because at least then the clothes would fit properly. 

 A couple of months ago a ordered from Boohoo. I've always loved Boohoo because they feature pretty much every style and size you could possibly need; however, this time I was really disappointed. I usually buy clothes in a size 6 unless the shop stocks a size 4, in most cases its very rare for a shop to stock size 4 so my clothes are always a little baggy. I have this one pair of jeans that were a hand me down from my older sister and they are the most comfortable thing I own. They're from Boohoo. So I figured if I was to order more jeans in the smallest size Boohoo stock then they would be bound to fit me really well. I was wrong. A pair of what were supposed to be super skinny fit jeans in fact looked like this: ->

I wasn't too happy. So I sent most of my order back and received a refund after about 2 weeks. The only item I kept from this order was this really lovely dress. It is a bit too baggy but it fits and I figure it could last next summer too. It will be great for those hot summer days when you want a nice, light fabric that wont cling to you. I paid £8 for this which is a bargain. Despite the sizing issue, Boohoo is fantastic when it comes to prices. As shown by the image, it comes just above the knee and isn't too tight fitted but it's comfortable and looks elegant. Perfect to wear over a bikini on the beach this summer or just a classic outfit to keep you cool when the weather gets warmer. All was not lost. 

 After having to send the rest of the items back and wait for my refund, I decided to wait a few more weeks to let my wages build up and to consider shopping at some more expensive shops. I've always been put off Top Shop because their prices are so high and I could never afford more than a few things at a time. I'm not very patient with saving money so I've just never had the budget for them. However, having spent less money for clothes that didn't fit, I was looking for a shop that had a half decent petite section for me to shop in and I didn't really mind spending a little bit more for some clothes that would actually fit comfortably.

 When looking at the Top Shop online store, I already had an idea of the kind of clothing I needed. I was desperately lacking jeans that fit me well and so I decided to chose some nice jeans first. The jeans from Top Shop cost about £40 a pair and so I wasn't going to be buying many! But I really wanted some plain white jeans and so I fell for this pair with a subtle rip just across the knee.

 These are the smallest size they stock. They fit perfectly and comfortably and I can tell that they will go with so many of my tops so I'm glad I decided to spend a little bit more. I always have been wary of white jeans because they can sometimes be a little bit transparent but these aren't. These are a really good buy and Top Shop also stock some similar but with more or less rips in them so go and check them out if you're feeling adventurous!

Now, I'm a bit of a sucker for a midi dress when I see one. I think they're so comfortable and complimentary to wear. Black and White stripes are really in this spring so I really fell in love with this dress! It cost about £22 and I absolutely love it. I find dresses like these perfect to wear at gigs or just for a casual trip out. It's made of such a comfortable fabric and you can tell it's good quality! I can't wait to wear this. I think the black and white stripe look will look stunning with a simple makeup look and red lipstick



The next thing that caught my eye was this stunning white cropped T Shirt with black flower detailing. It looks gorgeous with my black jeans. Again, it's such a comfortable item to wear in the summer because it doesn't cling to your skin or smother you too much. It's such a simple design and was well worth £22. It gives the perfect finish to a casual day time look.
 Again, it is true to size and would look perfect on all different body types and figures. I cannot wait to show this little piece off!



The final item I bought from Top Shop is this simple but cute little crop top with black and white stripe detailing. As previously mentioned, the black and white stripes are very fashionable this season so I can't wait to wear this. Perfect for going out or even just to show off a tan. I love items like this because they go with almost anything be it a little skater skirt or jeans. I think I paid about £12 for this. The fabric it's made from is lovely. It's strong but is soft on your skin and again feels like it's good quality!






I then decided to have a look on the Miss Selfridge online store to see if there was anything that caught my eye. I had liked the look of a khaki green strappy top from Top Shop but they typically didn't have it in my size. I found this top in a similar colour but different style and fell equally in love with it. It's beautiful. It's the nicest design and goes with both black and white jeans. The straps are slightly too long but I can easily stitch them so it hangs comfortably. It is a crop top when it's put on which I didn't realise but it still looks lovely and I'm really happy with it! I again think this was about £22.



The last item I got was a pair of black ripped jeans. Jeans from Miss Selfridge also cost about £40 a pair. I love these so much! They're so comfortable and complimenting when you wear them. The rips fall just below the knee and are really subtle. They go with pretty much anything and complete the perfect outfit for going out.

 These are also in the smallest size that Miss Selfridge stock (in the petite section) and fit me so perfectly around the waist which is a miracle as I usually have to take in my jeans so they stay up!


I hope this helped you if you're like me and struggle to find clothing that fits! I would advise anyone to try spending a little more when you go clothes shopping as you will find the more you spend, the better the product in terms of description and living up to expectations.  

A Smile Is Contagious

I went busking about a week ago for the first time in a while. It took a lot for me to do it. I often feel very anxious about going busking, I'm not really sure why. I have to practically force myself onto the bus in the morning to do it. Even though I know for a fact that it's fine and it isn't scary and I always enjoy it, I still get nervous. The last time I went I almost didn't go; in fact, I had planned to go several times throughout Easter/Spring break and every single time I changed my mind or conveniently found something much more anxiety free to do (such as revision.) Of course, revision isn't a bad thing but I started to go a bit stir crazy and definitely needed to leave the house. So I dragged my sorry behind out of my living room for the day and did some busking. 

 I always think busking gives musicians a bit of a bad name because it's assumed we all do it for the money. It's true, you can make a fair bit from busking. However, I think for me busking is more of a chance to do what I enjoy. I get to sit for hours doing what I love the most (which I'd probably be doing at home in my room alone anyway) and I might make £30 from it. It gives you performance experience as well as time to try out new material. In most cases, people find buskers annoying and I, more often that not, get filthy glances off people as they walk past ignoring what I'm doing. But the reason I manage to drag myself into Stratford to do it no matter how anxious it makes me feel is that it makes so many people smile. 

 The amount of little kids that walk past mesmerized by what I'm doing in incredible. Most of them just get dragged along by busy mothers desperate to get to poundland before the bus leaves them behind but the occasional few parents will just let them watch for a while. And they love it. It makes them so happy and that makes me happy because I was always inspired by music from a very young age and if I can pass that along to younger people then I've achieved something amazing. It isn't just small kids that enjoy it either. I had a lovely mother and her daughter stop and give me a large sum of cash just because I happened to play her favourite song. And there was even a man who watched me for a good hour just to listen. 

 It wasn't me that they were captivated by, it was the music. 

Whenever I am out and about I will always give what change I have to a busker if I see one; I know what it's like to be sat there in the cold desperate to make enough cash to be able to afford that flashy guitar strap you've had your eye on. It makes them happy and it doesn't really cost me much. I think music that people can feel and relate to makes them happy, even if it's a sad song. Capturing emotions in something people can take with them and listen to is such an important thing to me and to be able to make someone smile just because they've heard a lyric as they walked past me that made them think of something is magical. It's all I've ever wanted to do. Even if you can't or don't wish to give 50p to a busker in the street, smile at them. If you smile at them it shows that you appreciate what they're doing which isn't trying to make money but to spread their passion. 

 Music is the most efficient way of storing memories that there is. I was listening to a whole bunch of old songs on my iPhone on the way into Stratford that day and I found myself spontaneously attacked by an army of nostalgic tunes that I had forgotten about. Songs that reminded me of old friendships or ex boyfriends or whatever it is. If you listen to a song or an album when going through a certain thing that feeling will always be echoed in that lyric or that melody. Sometimes it's inconvenient, for instance, if you associate your favourite song with a doochebag before you realise he's a douchebag... there's no going back. That song is ruined forever. But it's equally as magical. If you're lucky enough to capture the whole feeling of falling in love in a certain album or song, that will stay with you for as long as that album is playing. Forever. And that's what a musician wants. They want to give you a soundtrack to capture your memories in. That's what music is for us. So please don't glare at buskers when you walk past them. Smile and remember whatever lyric they're singing and then if you're to hear that lyric again you'll remember the 16 year old kid who woke up at 7am in their school holiday just to go stand in the cold and do what they enjoy. If that's not a nice feeling to remember then I don't know what is. It sound much nicer than hearing that lyric again and remembering the grumpy mood you were in when you were just to preoccupied with the thought of a latte from starbucks before you head back to your flashy office job. 

 If you don't want to give money, a polite smile costs you nothing.  

 Finally, I need to round this up in some philosophical way so I guess what I want you to take from this isn't just to be kind to buskers on the street but just to be kind to everyone. As previously highlighted, I myself used to think buskers just wanted money before I started doing it but now I understand it much better:

 You don't know what other people are thinking or what they're trying to achieve. The one thing I hate is cynical people. No matter what's going on smile at people. They might smile back. And then they might smile at someone else because you made them smile. Not only is it a kind thing to do but it's important. You might give someone the only smile they have that day. People have complications and layers. You won't always know what's going on so just smile. Don't assume that someone is rude just because they don't want to talk. Don't assume a busker is greedy just because they've gone out to earn themselves some money. Don't assume that someone is happy just because they're laughing. Kindness goes a long way. Smiles work like dominoes so go and spread the love. Or the Nutella.