As previously talked about in posts prior to this one, I have some very strong opinions of tabloid media and their attitudes towards celebrities, their invasions of privacy and heartless lack of empathy. I was extremely angry when I woke up this morning to see various pop culture news blogs reporting about the disgustingly malicious interview with Cara Delevingne on Good Day Sacramento. She was labelled as rude and uninterested by some people, but I wasn't surprised to see most people arguing in her favor, and rightly so.
The questions asked were quite pointless in my opinion. Cara, who plays Margo in the new movie adaptation of the John Green best seller, Paper Towns, of course would have read the book in preparation and would have felt some connection with her character otherwise she wouldn't have agreed to play her. As part of the audience to this interview, it was apparent to me that Cara's sarcasm was simply an attempt to lighten the mood that was awkward from the start after the female presenter referred to her as Clara.
The interviewers all seemed pretty biased against Cara from the beginning and their comments were just plain rude! There were so many unnecessary comments made, even questioning her ability to handle her schedule and again showing a lack of empathy when questioning whether she can keep focused because of her busy schedule. Of course that doesn't make it easier, she's exhausted. Despite the interviewers hinting at how exhausted she must be, they further accused her of not being excited for the movie. Not only was this extremely unprofessional, but they coerced Cara further into this hole when she tried to defend herself by explaining the evening prior to the interview was the premiere of the movie.
The ending of this attack was the most shocking. After Cara defended herself by bringing the premiere to light, the interviewers then stated they would leave her to it and recommended she have some red bull. They then shut Cara's mic down without letting her say goodbye or even stick up for herself.
"Well that's a bit too far" you hear Cara say just before her image is removed. Despite her previous warning also: "Don't be mean," the interviewers on the show continued to belittle Cara with derogatory comments and by calling her out simply for her attempts to answer their banal questions in a somehow interesting way.
These interviewers showed such a lack of respect to Cara, especially when they further bullied her after her camera was shut off. With no way of defending herself, these interviewers abused Cara about the amount of money she earns and her attitude. They seemed to show no empathy as to how exhausted she must have been and they shed no light on the fact that their comments were disrespectful and that they even got her name incorrect at the beginning of the show which would, of course, make her feel uncomfortable.
My message to Good Day Sacramento: If you have such a burning desire to have better answers for your questions, to the extent that you would bully a guest on your show, perhaps you should ask better questions.
Wednesday, 29 July 2015
Tuesday, 14 July 2015
Chloe's 4 Steps To Getting Over Someone
I am in no way an expert as to how love works or how to deal with feelings, in fact, I'm pretty awful at it all. Having had a lot of time to think over my feelings has helped me come up with a plan as to how I'm going to give myself the best future. Whilst missing, hating, craving, misunderstanding and judging the person I used to love all at once over the past few days and weeks I have tried so many different ways of making the best of the situation, every time ending in me getting hurt. Again. So here are some things I have done/am doing to focus on giving myself, and only myself, the best chance.
1. Cut All Contact.
I think we find it comforting to believe that we could somehow salvage a friendship from the cursed shipwreck that remains of a destroyed relationship; however, sometimes/most times, it's impossible. It's impossible if the other person can't be bothered to put the effort in. It's impossible if you still have questions unanswered and if you're still angry over what they've done to you. It's impossible if you still have loving feelings for that person and they're moving on because you won't be able to shake off those feelings if they're still tormenting you. It's impossible if it's just going to reemerge old memories and old feelings.
You have to admit to yourself that the person that hurt you isn't the same individual as the person who loved you. That way, you can remember the good things: the smiles, the kisses, the safety and security etc. without associating those memories with the pain. The only way to stop them from merging together and destroying your faith is to cut them off. Block them on social media. Delete the old text messages and stop torturing yourself with memories of a person that doesn't exist in that way anymore. Delete their number too so that you have no way of getting into contact. Even if it's temporary, you have to cut contact until you no longer look at them and feel that turmoil of emotion.
2. Express The Negative Feelings.
Every person has a talent, some way of expressing themselves. You can get rid of these negative feelings: the anger, the betrayal, the rejection through whatever that is rather than collapsing on the bathroom floor in a malice ball of frustration and intense melancholy. I write songs. Other people paint pictures or write in journals etc. Whatever you want to do just get the thoughts out of your head. Talk so somebody about them, if you are unsure of what else to do. Just get them out of your head so that you can make sense of them and figure out what is real and what your sadness has created to torture you with.
3. Buy Some New Underwear.
This one may be more effective for girls but guys can do this too. Buy yourself something really sexy. A thong, preferably lace or anything along those lines. No, I'm not going insane. Get yourself something they haven't seen or touched. Something you feel good wearing that isn't tainted with the memory of them. Allow yourself to feel reawakened. Realise that feeling good is for yourself, nobody else. Get yourself something that makes you feel clean.
4. Give Yourself Some Time.
Don't rush things. A lot of people like to get over one person by rushing into a relationship with the next thing that looks their way. That's fine. However, it's not always the best way. Relationships can fix old wounds but sometimes, if you get it wrong, it just makes those wounds bigger. Rushing into new relationships when you're not ready can be even more damaging so you need to give yourself a few months or even longer just to take a breather and let your scars heal. That way you can't let the damage of the previous relationship spread into the new one. Most likely, you'll find it hard to trust people, you'll get paranoid and rushing into a new relationship can leave you afraid of being alone. I don't need to tell you that none of those things are good things so just take some time out. Of course, you'll miss how it feels to be loved but if you get into a new relationship when you're ready it will be so much better. There's a big difference between wanting to be loved and needing to be loved.
Just remember that you're worthy of a full life and that includes having someone that adores you and would never ever hurt you. Getting over somebody takes longer, but I think it's much better than giving someone a second chance to destroy what you have because they may very nearly destroy you in the process.
1. Cut All Contact.
I think we find it comforting to believe that we could somehow salvage a friendship from the cursed shipwreck that remains of a destroyed relationship; however, sometimes/most times, it's impossible. It's impossible if the other person can't be bothered to put the effort in. It's impossible if you still have questions unanswered and if you're still angry over what they've done to you. It's impossible if you still have loving feelings for that person and they're moving on because you won't be able to shake off those feelings if they're still tormenting you. It's impossible if it's just going to reemerge old memories and old feelings.
You have to admit to yourself that the person that hurt you isn't the same individual as the person who loved you. That way, you can remember the good things: the smiles, the kisses, the safety and security etc. without associating those memories with the pain. The only way to stop them from merging together and destroying your faith is to cut them off. Block them on social media. Delete the old text messages and stop torturing yourself with memories of a person that doesn't exist in that way anymore. Delete their number too so that you have no way of getting into contact. Even if it's temporary, you have to cut contact until you no longer look at them and feel that turmoil of emotion.
2. Express The Negative Feelings.
Every person has a talent, some way of expressing themselves. You can get rid of these negative feelings: the anger, the betrayal, the rejection through whatever that is rather than collapsing on the bathroom floor in a malice ball of frustration and intense melancholy. I write songs. Other people paint pictures or write in journals etc. Whatever you want to do just get the thoughts out of your head. Talk so somebody about them, if you are unsure of what else to do. Just get them out of your head so that you can make sense of them and figure out what is real and what your sadness has created to torture you with.
3. Buy Some New Underwear.
This one may be more effective for girls but guys can do this too. Buy yourself something really sexy. A thong, preferably lace or anything along those lines. No, I'm not going insane. Get yourself something they haven't seen or touched. Something you feel good wearing that isn't tainted with the memory of them. Allow yourself to feel reawakened. Realise that feeling good is for yourself, nobody else. Get yourself something that makes you feel clean.
4. Give Yourself Some Time.
Don't rush things. A lot of people like to get over one person by rushing into a relationship with the next thing that looks their way. That's fine. However, it's not always the best way. Relationships can fix old wounds but sometimes, if you get it wrong, it just makes those wounds bigger. Rushing into new relationships when you're not ready can be even more damaging so you need to give yourself a few months or even longer just to take a breather and let your scars heal. That way you can't let the damage of the previous relationship spread into the new one. Most likely, you'll find it hard to trust people, you'll get paranoid and rushing into a new relationship can leave you afraid of being alone. I don't need to tell you that none of those things are good things so just take some time out. Of course, you'll miss how it feels to be loved but if you get into a new relationship when you're ready it will be so much better. There's a big difference between wanting to be loved and needing to be loved.
Just remember that you're worthy of a full life and that includes having someone that adores you and would never ever hurt you. Getting over somebody takes longer, but I think it's much better than giving someone a second chance to destroy what you have because they may very nearly destroy you in the process.
Wednesday, 8 July 2015
June Favourites
I feel as though I haven't blogged for absolutely ages. I also feel like my recent posts have been very heavy so I've taken some time out to just take a breath for a second. (Or a few weeks.) There's so much going on in my life at the moment that I cannot comfortably blog about which I'm sure you've gathered from my posts prior to this one so I have tried to plan a few blog posts that aren't as thoughtful because I simply have too much to think about!
I haven't done a favourites since February and so there are lots of products I want to talk about so lets get right to it.
The first item I have been loving has been talked about a lot by beauty gurus and bloggers/vloggers since it came out and that is the Maybelline Lash Sensational Mascara. YouTubers such as Zoella and VelvetGhost have praised this product and I have to agree with their comments. It's one of the best 'drugstore' mascaras I have ever used. I struggle with my eyelashes a lot because they just don't like to curl. This mascara not only makes them seem longer and fuller but it just gives so much more shape and volume. I actually would go so far as to say I prefer this mascara to my Urban Decay one which was much more expensive. I have recommended this little product to so many people and have heard nothing but good comments so do try it for yourself!
The next product I have adored is a high end product so a little bit more pricey and it is the Too Faced Chocolate Bar eye shadow Pallet. I paid around the £37 mark for this, I don't remember exactly. All I can tell you is it is worth every single penny. The colours are beautiful and so nicely pigmented. They compliment each other so well; any combination I have tried has worked beautifully! Blending really well, the product is easy to use and is really long lasting. What more could you ask for in a pallet? Don't be put off by the price.
I have photographed the 2 colours I use the most as an all over lid colour and those are: Marzipan and Creme Brulee. I use the other colours for blending and just adding tone.
Clearly the whole pallet is themed around chocolate as you can see by the packaging and names of the products. I have talked about the scent of the product previously in a haul post but if you haven't seen that post: the pallet smells authentically of chocolate. It's amazing. I have also been using the Champagne Truffle shade in conjunction with my eyebrow powder to highlight the brow bone when shading my eyebrows. The colours are stunning and really go above and beyond any expectations of eye shadows.
I have to say, I used to hate the idea of putting makeup on my eyebrows. I've seen such crimes to makeup walking around with eyebrows that take up their whole forehead that I saw eyebrow shading as very fake and hard to do well. This product is so easy to use it makes me wonder how some people can go so wrong with eyebrow shading. It comes with a dark powder for the brows and a highlighter. I must confess that I haven't used the highlighter at all because it's a very orangey shade and I much prefer using lighter eye shadows to highlight the brow bone with.
Moving away from makeup over to skin care, here is a product that has been a favourite of mine for years. It's the Dove Summer Glow moisturizer. I'm unsure as to whether I've talked about this product on my blog before or not but I adore it. It's totally fool proof and I've been using it since I was about 13. It works all over the body. It makes your skin look and feel so healthy and doesn't give you that horrid orange tone that fake tans often do. One thing I have been loving about this product recently is how helpful it's been to me when I've been dealing with sunburn. I got very sunburned a week before my prom and this product aided me to coercing that burn into a tan much swifter than if I had left it for time to deal with. I just absolutely love the results you get from this product!
Another skin care product I've been loving is this Coco Body Butter from Boots. It isn't a brand product but it works wonders. It's especially good to use on legs after shaving. I've been loving it recently for similar reasons for the Dove Summer Glow - It works miracles on sunburn. My skin tends to peel when it gets burnt and this product has helped sooth it much quicker leaving me peel free! It smells incredible and is affordable so give it a try if you have similar problems.
My final favourite is an entertainment favourite, my favourite TV show of all time: Nashville. I recently re watched all of the first 2 seasons for the 3rd time so that i'm ready for the 3rd season that should come out sometime very soon. I was unaware that it airs in the UK so I've missed the first half of season 3 and cannot find it anywhere to catch up which means I'm stuck waiting for the DVD; however, I'm excited and it's such a great show so if you haven't watched it you should. If you love music, you'll love Nashville.
I haven't done a favourites since February and so there are lots of products I want to talk about so lets get right to it.
The first item I have been loving has been talked about a lot by beauty gurus and bloggers/vloggers since it came out and that is the Maybelline Lash Sensational Mascara. YouTubers such as Zoella and VelvetGhost have praised this product and I have to agree with their comments. It's one of the best 'drugstore' mascaras I have ever used. I struggle with my eyelashes a lot because they just don't like to curl. This mascara not only makes them seem longer and fuller but it just gives so much more shape and volume. I actually would go so far as to say I prefer this mascara to my Urban Decay one which was much more expensive. I have recommended this little product to so many people and have heard nothing but good comments so do try it for yourself! 
The next product I have adored is a high end product so a little bit more pricey and it is the Too Faced Chocolate Bar eye shadow Pallet. I paid around the £37 mark for this, I don't remember exactly. All I can tell you is it is worth every single penny. The colours are beautiful and so nicely pigmented. They compliment each other so well; any combination I have tried has worked beautifully! Blending really well, the product is easy to use and is really long lasting. What more could you ask for in a pallet? Don't be put off by the price. I have photographed the 2 colours I use the most as an all over lid colour and those are: Marzipan and Creme Brulee. I use the other colours for blending and just adding tone.
Clearly the whole pallet is themed around chocolate as you can see by the packaging and names of the products. I have talked about the scent of the product previously in a haul post but if you haven't seen that post: the pallet smells authentically of chocolate. It's amazing. I have also been using the Champagne Truffle shade in conjunction with my eyebrow powder to highlight the brow bone when shading my eyebrows. The colours are stunning and really go above and beyond any expectations of eye shadows.
To follow on from that, it seems fitting to go on and talk to you about my new found love of eyebrow shading. This is a product that my mum gave to me after not really bothering with it much. It's by Beautiful Brows.
I have to say, I used to hate the idea of putting makeup on my eyebrows. I've seen such crimes to makeup walking around with eyebrows that take up their whole forehead that I saw eyebrow shading as very fake and hard to do well. This product is so easy to use it makes me wonder how some people can go so wrong with eyebrow shading. It comes with a dark powder for the brows and a highlighter. I must confess that I haven't used the highlighter at all because it's a very orangey shade and I much prefer using lighter eye shadows to highlight the brow bone with.
The brush that comes with the pallet is a very tightly bristled brush that can easily cover the brow without the powder going everywhere which is really effective in getting a natural look. You don't need to use much of the powder either; a light tap with the brush on the powder is enough to fill the whole brow without giving you a fake look. Thus, the product is very efficient because you don't need to use much of it and it's very long lasting! It's revolutionized my makeup routine.
Moving away from makeup over to skin care, here is a product that has been a favourite of mine for years. It's the Dove Summer Glow moisturizer. I'm unsure as to whether I've talked about this product on my blog before or not but I adore it. It's totally fool proof and I've been using it since I was about 13. It works all over the body. It makes your skin look and feel so healthy and doesn't give you that horrid orange tone that fake tans often do. One thing I have been loving about this product recently is how helpful it's been to me when I've been dealing with sunburn. I got very sunburned a week before my prom and this product aided me to coercing that burn into a tan much swifter than if I had left it for time to deal with. I just absolutely love the results you get from this product! 
Another skin care product I've been loving is this Coco Body Butter from Boots. It isn't a brand product but it works wonders. It's especially good to use on legs after shaving. I've been loving it recently for similar reasons for the Dove Summer Glow - It works miracles on sunburn. My skin tends to peel when it gets burnt and this product has helped sooth it much quicker leaving me peel free! It smells incredible and is affordable so give it a try if you have similar problems. 
My final favourite is an entertainment favourite, my favourite TV show of all time: Nashville. I recently re watched all of the first 2 seasons for the 3rd time so that i'm ready for the 3rd season that should come out sometime very soon. I was unaware that it airs in the UK so I've missed the first half of season 3 and cannot find it anywhere to catch up which means I'm stuck waiting for the DVD; however, I'm excited and it's such a great show so if you haven't watched it you should. If you love music, you'll love Nashville.
Thanks for reading. Keep your eyes open for some cool posts coming your way soon!
Friday, 12 June 2015
Moving On
Hello internet friends. It's been a little while.
So much is changing right now, in fact, everything is changing. It's scary. I don't think I have ever been more afraid of life than I am when I currently try to fall asleep at night. However, not all changes are bad and I think I have learned more in the last couple of weeks than I have in the entire 12 years I have spent in full time education.
My official last day of school was on Wednesday and I was lucky enough to round up what has been a horrific 5 years at a school I have hated by performing for my year group in our leavers assembly. I carried around my guitar with me all day and am sure I will be remembered for eternity as the girl sat in the corner cuddling a guitar case. There are worse things to be remembered for, I'm sure. Leaving school really put things into perspective for me. When it comes to taking pictures with people you may never see again and signing year books and saying goodbye, you really realise who has influenced you and who you will rapidly forget. When it came to writing a message for the people I believed had made massive impacts on my life, I found myself struggling to know what to say. "Oh yeah thanks for breaking my heart in year 10, really appreciate it." or "Oh btw, thanks for making me insecure about wearing my glasses after all the derogatory comments in year 7." You realise that those things you thought would matter for the rest of your life just don't anymore because that person is just another face you never have to see again. Similarly, I realised who really had influenced me. People I always thought I'd never get along with I found myself writing essays. People who have grown so much since we were 12, who now have their own views and opinions and are real people with values. I couldn't be prouder of the most of the people I got to grow up with. The transition between being a year 7 and a year 11 is incredible because you change so much without even realising it.
The only thing that made me really tear up that day was when I went to say goodbye to my favourite English teacher and had to explain to her why I wouldn't be staying on for 6th form at Chipping Campden School. It was remarkable because I didn't have to explain, she just understood. Most teachers ended up questioning me for hours about why I'd hated it there so much but she was the one woman who had got to know her class so much that she knew what we were thinking. That's when I really realised how much I am influenced by strong, sassy women. It really broke my heart that she wouldn't be teaching me next year.
I entered that school with no idea who I really was. I left school with a lot of bad memories, but also a lot of really lovely ones due to some really special people that I feel so lucky to have met. I left with scars that might never heal but I wouldn't be without them. Most importantly, I left knowing exactly who I am and what I want out of life. I may never remember Pythagoras' theorem or ever use Trigonometry (Sorry Mr W.) But I will never lose touch with the person I have become not because of the school I hated, but because of the students I adored.
I have always been one to over plan for the future. It's not necessarily a bad thing but it hasn't done me many favours either because so much can change literally in a blink of an eye. You might just lose the person that you thought would always stay. The person who you thought would always be protecting you may become the very person you need shielding from. The friend you thought cared about you the most might be the one waiting with a knife for your back. You will never ever know a person as well as you know yourself. And so one thing I have had to learn the hard way is that you should never ever under any circumstances put another person before yourself. Ever. Because they probably wouldn't do the same for you. That's the one piece of advice I would give the the people that have influenced me to take with them where ever they go.
"People don't always understand the promises they make when they make them" - John Green
Don't ever give anyone else the opportunity to burn out your flame. Protect yourself but don't build up walls. There's a fine line between self protection and self destruction.
I found myself awake at an unsociable hour yesterday morning due to unseen circumstances and I ended up watching Ingrid Nilsen's coming out video multiple times because I found it so breathtakingly beautiful and heartwarming. She emotionally told a story that opened my eyes to how mysterious people are. You can think you know a person inside out yet in the deepest corners of their mind they could be holding a secret so painful and tragic yet so innocent that it's unfair. So another thing that I learned because of that is that you should never judge a person you don't know fully. You can never completely know somebody but losing your patience with someone isn't always justified. You will never know what a person is dealing with or what's going through there mind so take everything with a pinch of salt. People don't make choices without good reason, people wont push you away without good reason. The person who snapped at you when they spoke this morning could be dealing with anything. It's a good idea to find the perfect medium between giving people the benefit of the doubt and then letting people take advantage of you.
One thing Ingrid repeated throughout her influential video is that we all deserve our best chance, which brings me back onto the idea of always putting yourself first. That's the most valuable yet painful lesson I have ever learned. Sometimes you have to cut people off because all they will ever do is hurt you. You have to do that to give yourself your best chance. Sometimes you have to abandon the people you love most to get away from a toxic environment. Simply because you deserve your best chance at a full life. So my last piece of advice to all of my classmates is just do whatever the fuck you want: travel, take way too many selfies, talk to strangers (not creepy ones, be sensible about it ), forget appointments and do fun stuff instead, leave a job that makes you unhappy, give a cute guy your number, say no, say yes, make a scrapbook, write a journal and never ever lose touch with who you really are. And always remember that who you are is whoever the frickle frackle you want to be.
To anyone wondering why I didn't stay at that school, it's because I needed to give myself my best chance.
"I'm giving myself my best chance, and so should you" - Ingrid Nilsen.
So much is changing right now, in fact, everything is changing. It's scary. I don't think I have ever been more afraid of life than I am when I currently try to fall asleep at night. However, not all changes are bad and I think I have learned more in the last couple of weeks than I have in the entire 12 years I have spent in full time education.
My official last day of school was on Wednesday and I was lucky enough to round up what has been a horrific 5 years at a school I have hated by performing for my year group in our leavers assembly. I carried around my guitar with me all day and am sure I will be remembered for eternity as the girl sat in the corner cuddling a guitar case. There are worse things to be remembered for, I'm sure. Leaving school really put things into perspective for me. When it comes to taking pictures with people you may never see again and signing year books and saying goodbye, you really realise who has influenced you and who you will rapidly forget. When it came to writing a message for the people I believed had made massive impacts on my life, I found myself struggling to know what to say. "Oh yeah thanks for breaking my heart in year 10, really appreciate it." or "Oh btw, thanks for making me insecure about wearing my glasses after all the derogatory comments in year 7." You realise that those things you thought would matter for the rest of your life just don't anymore because that person is just another face you never have to see again. Similarly, I realised who really had influenced me. People I always thought I'd never get along with I found myself writing essays. People who have grown so much since we were 12, who now have their own views and opinions and are real people with values. I couldn't be prouder of the most of the people I got to grow up with. The transition between being a year 7 and a year 11 is incredible because you change so much without even realising it.
The only thing that made me really tear up that day was when I went to say goodbye to my favourite English teacher and had to explain to her why I wouldn't be staying on for 6th form at Chipping Campden School. It was remarkable because I didn't have to explain, she just understood. Most teachers ended up questioning me for hours about why I'd hated it there so much but she was the one woman who had got to know her class so much that she knew what we were thinking. That's when I really realised how much I am influenced by strong, sassy women. It really broke my heart that she wouldn't be teaching me next year.
I entered that school with no idea who I really was. I left school with a lot of bad memories, but also a lot of really lovely ones due to some really special people that I feel so lucky to have met. I left with scars that might never heal but I wouldn't be without them. Most importantly, I left knowing exactly who I am and what I want out of life. I may never remember Pythagoras' theorem or ever use Trigonometry (Sorry Mr W.) But I will never lose touch with the person I have become not because of the school I hated, but because of the students I adored.
I have always been one to over plan for the future. It's not necessarily a bad thing but it hasn't done me many favours either because so much can change literally in a blink of an eye. You might just lose the person that you thought would always stay. The person who you thought would always be protecting you may become the very person you need shielding from. The friend you thought cared about you the most might be the one waiting with a knife for your back. You will never ever know a person as well as you know yourself. And so one thing I have had to learn the hard way is that you should never ever under any circumstances put another person before yourself. Ever. Because they probably wouldn't do the same for you. That's the one piece of advice I would give the the people that have influenced me to take with them where ever they go.
"People don't always understand the promises they make when they make them" - John Green
Don't ever give anyone else the opportunity to burn out your flame. Protect yourself but don't build up walls. There's a fine line between self protection and self destruction.
I found myself awake at an unsociable hour yesterday morning due to unseen circumstances and I ended up watching Ingrid Nilsen's coming out video multiple times because I found it so breathtakingly beautiful and heartwarming. She emotionally told a story that opened my eyes to how mysterious people are. You can think you know a person inside out yet in the deepest corners of their mind they could be holding a secret so painful and tragic yet so innocent that it's unfair. So another thing that I learned because of that is that you should never judge a person you don't know fully. You can never completely know somebody but losing your patience with someone isn't always justified. You will never know what a person is dealing with or what's going through there mind so take everything with a pinch of salt. People don't make choices without good reason, people wont push you away without good reason. The person who snapped at you when they spoke this morning could be dealing with anything. It's a good idea to find the perfect medium between giving people the benefit of the doubt and then letting people take advantage of you.
One thing Ingrid repeated throughout her influential video is that we all deserve our best chance, which brings me back onto the idea of always putting yourself first. That's the most valuable yet painful lesson I have ever learned. Sometimes you have to cut people off because all they will ever do is hurt you. You have to do that to give yourself your best chance. Sometimes you have to abandon the people you love most to get away from a toxic environment. Simply because you deserve your best chance at a full life. So my last piece of advice to all of my classmates is just do whatever the fuck you want: travel, take way too many selfies, talk to strangers (not creepy ones, be sensible about it ), forget appointments and do fun stuff instead, leave a job that makes you unhappy, give a cute guy your number, say no, say yes, make a scrapbook, write a journal and never ever lose touch with who you really are. And always remember that who you are is whoever the frickle frackle you want to be.
To anyone wondering why I didn't stay at that school, it's because I needed to give myself my best chance.
"I'm giving myself my best chance, and so should you" - Ingrid Nilsen.
Friday, 22 May 2015
The Girl On The Train
My mother and I had to take several train journeys in order to get my dress for my prom next month. One one of these journeys this girl got on the same train as us and sat opposite us because there were no seats. At first I was a bit annoyed because she was one of those people that talk very loudly on their phone the whole way there; moreover, it was rather hard not to take notice of her. It sounds creepy but she was incredible. She had this style and this unique character and I was literally in awe from the second she got on the train.
She had clearly perfected the 70's hippy look. She had the flared trousers that didn't look tacky at all. She owned it. Her hair was this gorgeous wavy blonde that was then dip died a bright, fiery red and she had the most amazing shade of red lipstick on to match. Her skin was flawless. She had these mesmerising dream catcher earings and the feathers came right down to the bottom of her hair. Her nails were filed into perfect points and they were also bright red. I said to my mum as soon as we got off the train, "she looked amazing" and she had to agree.
I have no idea why I remember this girl so vividly or why I even took that much notice. I figure it was her individuality. She wasn't the kind of girl you'd see in the fashion magazines or on a cat walk yet she was stunning and her whole image was on point.
Since that journey I've looked all over the internet for a pair of earings like hers. I've been desperate to dip die my hair some wacky but awesome colour. I've wanted to wear clothes I wouldn't usually wear. Because of this, I've come to a conclusion that I've never really considered before. I'm desperate to be anybody besides who I actually am.
I don't know why, and I'm certain I'm not the only one but I'm fascinated by other people yet completely disheartened by myself. It's as if my insecurities are caused by my own critique and it's almost like a never ending cycle. I spend way too much time looking at other people's instagram accounts and feeling like I'm not good enough because I'm not them. But why am I not happy enough with myself?
I don't understand why I worry about this so much or why the girl on the train had such a massive influence on the way I see myself but I'd just love to be that girl. I'd love to have a style that nobody else had and just be so comfortable with who I am that it doesn't matter if someone doesn't adore me because I'd adore myself. I think that's everyone's goal really. I don't know how close I am to achieving it but I know that since having this realisation, I've become more eager to find out who I am.
I know I'm a feminist. I know what colours I like wearing and what makeup I like to do. I know I love writing. I know that I love music. I know that I hate inequality and I also am sure that I'm passionate. But I have no idea what to do with these things and what good they will do me. It's a scary place to be in but also really interesting. I know that the person I am now is completely different to the person I was a year ago and I know the person I will be a year from now will be completely different to this version of myself. I know that I can use pain to drive me forwards. I think you need to realise these things to become happy enough within yourself to continue because I no longer feel like I'm drifting because I know that I matter and that I'm worth it. For the first time I don't feel like I need anybody to prove that to me.
I'm not sure how this post ended up where it did. I just needed to write something and see where it went.
She had clearly perfected the 70's hippy look. She had the flared trousers that didn't look tacky at all. She owned it. Her hair was this gorgeous wavy blonde that was then dip died a bright, fiery red and she had the most amazing shade of red lipstick on to match. Her skin was flawless. She had these mesmerising dream catcher earings and the feathers came right down to the bottom of her hair. Her nails were filed into perfect points and they were also bright red. I said to my mum as soon as we got off the train, "she looked amazing" and she had to agree.
I have no idea why I remember this girl so vividly or why I even took that much notice. I figure it was her individuality. She wasn't the kind of girl you'd see in the fashion magazines or on a cat walk yet she was stunning and her whole image was on point.
Since that journey I've looked all over the internet for a pair of earings like hers. I've been desperate to dip die my hair some wacky but awesome colour. I've wanted to wear clothes I wouldn't usually wear. Because of this, I've come to a conclusion that I've never really considered before. I'm desperate to be anybody besides who I actually am.
I don't know why, and I'm certain I'm not the only one but I'm fascinated by other people yet completely disheartened by myself. It's as if my insecurities are caused by my own critique and it's almost like a never ending cycle. I spend way too much time looking at other people's instagram accounts and feeling like I'm not good enough because I'm not them. But why am I not happy enough with myself?
I don't understand why I worry about this so much or why the girl on the train had such a massive influence on the way I see myself but I'd just love to be that girl. I'd love to have a style that nobody else had and just be so comfortable with who I am that it doesn't matter if someone doesn't adore me because I'd adore myself. I think that's everyone's goal really. I don't know how close I am to achieving it but I know that since having this realisation, I've become more eager to find out who I am.
I know I'm a feminist. I know what colours I like wearing and what makeup I like to do. I know I love writing. I know that I love music. I know that I hate inequality and I also am sure that I'm passionate. But I have no idea what to do with these things and what good they will do me. It's a scary place to be in but also really interesting. I know that the person I am now is completely different to the person I was a year ago and I know the person I will be a year from now will be completely different to this version of myself. I know that I can use pain to drive me forwards. I think you need to realise these things to become happy enough within yourself to continue because I no longer feel like I'm drifting because I know that I matter and that I'm worth it. For the first time I don't feel like I need anybody to prove that to me.
I'm not sure how this post ended up where it did. I just needed to write something and see where it went.
Sunday, 17 May 2015
YouTube Is The Future
I think that because last time I wrote about the negative impacts the media has in terms of the removal of privacy and exploitation of youth, I needed to write about something positive to even things out. As a society, our lives seem to revolve around entertainment and watching the lives of other people. The increase in the popularity of reality TV shows highlights how intrigued we are by other people's lifestyle.
I personally dislike the soaps you can watch on TV. Supposedly capturing everyday life, the over dramatic emphasis on disasters such as weekly explosions, car crashes and death make things rather unbelievable and frankly soul destroying. In terms of real life, I'd much rather watch a vlog.
The thing I love most about YouTube is how the people are real people. Anyone could upload a video and have a million subscribers. You don't have to be unrealistically perfect or have boob implants in order to have people watch your videos. And there are YouTubers that make every single genre of video you can imagine. It's like one great big TV network that you can watch on your own terms.
The fact that you can have a contract with YouTube and make money off of making the videos is such a good idea for the YouTubers themselves and for the people watching. People are more likely to watch those videos made by people who have earned their platform than some fake family on the TV that waste their money on fake duck lips. If you think about it on a wider scale, we're on the way to ruling out the whole 'Fake Celebrity' status by producing a new platform to overtake the old one.
I hardly ever watch TV. I find it boring. Real life is much more entertaining for me and for the people I know too. There are videos for every type of person and their interests. Personally, I love watching a good vlog on a sunday evening - Hannah Magg's videos are edited beautifully and will put you in such a good mood! There doesn't seem to be any reason to need a TV anymore. Give it a few decades and no one will be watching Eastenders and dull shows like that when you could watch the Sacconejolys and actually see what real life is like for a family.
Not only does it give out a better message to younger people giving them much healthier role models (Kim Kardashian VS Zoella...hmm tricky one) but it's also beneficial for the people starring in these videos. A lot of people would find this controversial especially when it comes to family vloggers because they're putting their children in the public eye; however, you only have to watch the sacconejolys once to realise how beneficial Anna and Jonothan's career is on their children. Emilia and Eduardo are so confident and have such a great relationship with their parents because Anna and Jonothan get to stay at home and bring up their children rather than constantly leave them with different strangers whilst they go to work. Another positive outlook to have is how you only see 15 minutes of their day and they can make a living out of that! I'll admit, I'm slightly jealous but it's so good for them because they get to put all their time into their family!
By being able to make a career out of making videos you can specialize in something you enjoy and not have to work in a field that you felt was more practical despite not being the slightest bit interested.
YouTube might not be for everybody, but so many YouTubers have found a career they love out of it and escaped a life they would otherwise have hated. It makes having an interesting job so much easier because you don't have to have media platforms interested in exploiting you. You just have to have regular people have the same things in common as you do. I'm an advocate for sending out positive messages to the younger generations and I think in the future younger people would much rather watch YouTube than TV and thus the false media image will become less prominent in our everyday lives. It's an interesting thing to think about... Do we need the television or do we just need a wide screen computer?
Monday, 4 May 2015
I Hate The Media
In the last year or so I have become much more opinionated about certain things than I used to be. I'm not sure whether this is because I'm finding myself or if it's simply that I'm becoming more educated and smarter therefore more aware of the world around me. I have realised many things over recent months including my passion for feminism and a new love for writing. But one thing that I've found myself getting increasingly angry and frustrated about is the growing callous nature of the media.
As we are all aware, due to the media coverage, that the new Royal Baby was delivered on Saturday morning. She is beautiful. It's not surprising that the growing population of Britain is seemingly obsessed with her already. However, I not only found the media's infatuation disturbing but even more so offensive. Imagine it for yourselves: either you yourself or your wife has just given birth and you can't even go to visit her without being photographed and filmed? We've all seen the video of the gorgeous Prince George being carried into the hospital to MEET his own sister for the first time but of course, before he could he had to stand and wave to a bunch of strangers with his Daddy. I'm not implying that it was wrong for William to encourage George to do this; he has to do so in order to prevent negative headlines. But isn't that tragic that the media stole priority over the baby?
What I thought was even sadder than this was when Kate and Will left the hospital to bring their daughter home. Not even a day old and cameras zoomed in to get the first picture of her face. Again, they stood and waved before preparing the baby and getting her safely in the car to leave. It breaks my heart that they can't share that private moment together in peace. I couldn't imagine having to politely allow a group of strangers to snap images of my new born baby before I could even go home and enjoy her myself.
Considerably crueler than this was the reaction of the general public to Will and Kate's desire for some privacy. I took to twitter to convey my views on their departure in which my comments were of a similar tone to this post. I was disgusted by the amount of negative comments from people I know! One girl stated how she felt it was 'rude' that Will and Kate didn't speak to the media when they came out. For goodness sake. I don't think I would want to speak to a bunch of people invading my private moment if I had just given birth either. They're real people. Another girl replied to one of my tweets to state how amusing she found it that I referred to the couple as Will and Kate as if I am 'super chummy with them.' Of course I'm not but those are their names? They're people with names. Kate's birth name isn't The Duchess Of Cambridge it's Catherine. Why shouldn't they be called by their names? They're people!
This morning I even saw negative comments from people on Facebook slagging Kate off for how she looked when she came out of hospital. I can admit, I even felt slightly disheartened after seeing her leave and hoped desperately that I can look that good after I give birth. But the tone and nature of these comments were disturbing. Obviously she had to make herself up because she knew there were people outside waiting to photograph her! If she had left in joggers with her hair pulled up on her head like I'm sure she wanted to, think of all the preposterous articles we would have woken up to this morning?
Do you not think it's tragic how much effort she had to put in just to make sure no one said anything bad about her?
The media has this kind of effect on every single celebrity and it can either coerce them into taking extra care of their words and appearance in order to convey a positive image or it can send them over the edge.
I swear by Taylor Swift. I will stick up for her until the end of the earth because of how much effort she has put in to give off a positive image. There has not been one scandal in her almost 10 year career. The worst thing the media can say about her is that she dates a lot of people and I have written in my previous post how sexist and cruel I think that is. Not only does Taylor make sure to write and act in a way that is healthy for young girls to look up to but she addresses this publicly often in order to convey to everyone how important it is that the media emits a positive image.
She said this in an interview on 60 minutes: “I definitely think about a million people when I am getting dressed in the morning,” “That’s just part of my life now. I think it’s my responsibility to know it and to be conscious of it.”. “It would be really easy to say…I’m 21 now. I do what I want. You raise your kids. But…that’s not the truth of it. The truth of it is that every singer out there with songs on the radio is raising the next generation. So make your words count.”
Not only this, but Taylor has to put in intense effort into her appearance every time she leaves the gym or goes out for a walk and when questioned about this, she is again very honest. A million people are going to be looking at her and taking pictures of her because of her career.
What is heartbreaking about the influence the media has had on Taylor Swift is how much it has changed her attitude to what she wants from life. As a huge Swiftie (and proud of it) I have watched Taylor grow from a hopeful 16 year old girl to a strong willed, intelligent young woman. You can hear this heartbreaking reality in her lyrics, in her interviews and in her honesty. From a young age and since her young debut she was determined to have a family. She wanted to get married and give up her career to bring up a family in order to follow in her mother's footsteps. She talked about it in so many interviews. That was the life she really wanted. Since then she wrote a tragically accurate song called 'The Lucky One' that found it's place on her fourth studio album: RED. The song is about how invaded the lives of celebrities are by the media. Since then, Taylor has stated how she would never have children. She thinks it would be cruel to try to convince them they have a 'normal life' when they would have strange men constantly putting cameras in their faces.
Again, this conveys the tragic intrusion of the Royal Family's privacy because they couldn't make that choice. They have a duty to carry on the family. Will and Kate could never decide they didn't want to expose a family to the media.
It breaks my heart that the media have scared Taylor into not having her family because of the cruel way they have intruded into her private life.
Many people also talk in a malice way about Miley Cyrus who I have also previously mentioned when talking about sexism. I evaluated in my last post about how her choices and actions are media influenced. I do feel sorry for her because she is made to feel like she has to portray herself in a certain manor; however, I can't help but be angry by how little responsibility she takes. She could have an attitude like Taylor or like so many other celebrities who refuse to be that provocative and take a classier approach but she doesn't. Not only does she allow herself to be sexualised by she completely disregards any responsibility for her actions.
It's almost as if the media's disregard for people's privacy has inspired celebrities to feel like they can use that as an excuse to do whatever they feel like doing.
Some may argue that being exposed by the media is simply 'part of the job' but it shouldn't be and it never used to be. There used to be singers and movie stars way before there were gossip magazines and corrupt media coverage. It's as if this rise in media usage has left people in the spotlight with little time to adapt and evolve to suit the new type of famous. If you take for example the royal family who go back centuries obviously, there was a time when they could leave their home to go for a walk without being followed by cameras. They could appear looking tired, let their hair go grey, wear what they wanted. Obviously, they would always have had a lot of money to make themselves look presentable but they could do so off their own backs, there wasn't this pressure. It illustrates an image of a fish out of water. The royal family worked even 50-60 years ago when media coverage wasn't as much of an issue but they're not designed for this kind of exposure. This is tragically highlighted in the events of the last 20 or so years regarding the private lives of the royal subjects.
You have to be smart to be a celebrity. People such as Justin Bieber, Meghan Trainor and so many others who clearly don't think about what impact their actions and words have result in heartbroken teenagers who think behaving in a certain way is okay. I cannot tell you how thankful I am that I found Taylor and had a good role model or who knows where I would have ended up.
It's true: Celebrities are bringing up the next generation through the media.
This whole outlook has completely scared me away from all of the things I love. I am terrified of getting my dream job. I want nothing more than to take my music all over the world and release albums and tour but I don't think I could handle it even if I had that opportunity. I don't think I'd have the energy to never make a single mistake. I couldn't put that much effort into making sure I always looked right and behaved right. I couldn't cope with the articles and the press and the interviews and always having to say the right thing.
I love writing. I plan to do english at university but I have no idea what I could do with it. If I can make sufficient money from writing this blog then great but I don't want to go into journalism because I find it boring. I could never write for a magazine either. As much as I love fashion and make-up and writing about that stuff I couldn't live with myself if I had to make money of writing horrible things about people. I don't want to write about how a certain celebrity still has stretch marks from the baby she gave birth to a few weeks ago, I mean how dare she? Or have to interview famous people and ask them hurtful, private questions.
It's cruel.
When you consider how much these celebrities have sacrificed for us to enjoy their music or films etc. Why should we then take more than they offer? Why bite the hand that feeds you? You don't need to know who they're dating or how many times they've worn a certain outfit. Of course they make a lot of money but no amount of cash could make me want to be exposed like that. I could never do that to somebody either.
The media is a great thing in some ways. We can learn so much and get in touch with so many things but it scares me how much we are going too far every single day. From all of this pressure on so many people, we are inches away from everything collapsing be it a metaphor or a physical tragedy.
As we are all aware, due to the media coverage, that the new Royal Baby was delivered on Saturday morning. She is beautiful. It's not surprising that the growing population of Britain is seemingly obsessed with her already. However, I not only found the media's infatuation disturbing but even more so offensive. Imagine it for yourselves: either you yourself or your wife has just given birth and you can't even go to visit her without being photographed and filmed? We've all seen the video of the gorgeous Prince George being carried into the hospital to MEET his own sister for the first time but of course, before he could he had to stand and wave to a bunch of strangers with his Daddy. I'm not implying that it was wrong for William to encourage George to do this; he has to do so in order to prevent negative headlines. But isn't that tragic that the media stole priority over the baby?
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Considerably crueler than this was the reaction of the general public to Will and Kate's desire for some privacy. I took to twitter to convey my views on their departure in which my comments were of a similar tone to this post. I was disgusted by the amount of negative comments from people I know! One girl stated how she felt it was 'rude' that Will and Kate didn't speak to the media when they came out. For goodness sake. I don't think I would want to speak to a bunch of people invading my private moment if I had just given birth either. They're real people. Another girl replied to one of my tweets to state how amusing she found it that I referred to the couple as Will and Kate as if I am 'super chummy with them.' Of course I'm not but those are their names? They're people with names. Kate's birth name isn't The Duchess Of Cambridge it's Catherine. Why shouldn't they be called by their names? They're people!
This morning I even saw negative comments from people on Facebook slagging Kate off for how she looked when she came out of hospital. I can admit, I even felt slightly disheartened after seeing her leave and hoped desperately that I can look that good after I give birth. But the tone and nature of these comments were disturbing. Obviously she had to make herself up because she knew there were people outside waiting to photograph her! If she had left in joggers with her hair pulled up on her head like I'm sure she wanted to, think of all the preposterous articles we would have woken up to this morning? Do you not think it's tragic how much effort she had to put in just to make sure no one said anything bad about her?
The media has this kind of effect on every single celebrity and it can either coerce them into taking extra care of their words and appearance in order to convey a positive image or it can send them over the edge.
I swear by Taylor Swift. I will stick up for her until the end of the earth because of how much effort she has put in to give off a positive image. There has not been one scandal in her almost 10 year career. The worst thing the media can say about her is that she dates a lot of people and I have written in my previous post how sexist and cruel I think that is. Not only does Taylor make sure to write and act in a way that is healthy for young girls to look up to but she addresses this publicly often in order to convey to everyone how important it is that the media emits a positive image.
She said this in an interview on 60 minutes: “I definitely think about a million people when I am getting dressed in the morning,” “That’s just part of my life now. I think it’s my responsibility to know it and to be conscious of it.”. “It would be really easy to say…I’m 21 now. I do what I want. You raise your kids. But…that’s not the truth of it. The truth of it is that every singer out there with songs on the radio is raising the next generation. So make your words count.”
Not only this, but Taylor has to put in intense effort into her appearance every time she leaves the gym or goes out for a walk and when questioned about this, she is again very honest. A million people are going to be looking at her and taking pictures of her because of her career.
What is heartbreaking about the influence the media has had on Taylor Swift is how much it has changed her attitude to what she wants from life. As a huge Swiftie (and proud of it) I have watched Taylor grow from a hopeful 16 year old girl to a strong willed, intelligent young woman. You can hear this heartbreaking reality in her lyrics, in her interviews and in her honesty. From a young age and since her young debut she was determined to have a family. She wanted to get married and give up her career to bring up a family in order to follow in her mother's footsteps. She talked about it in so many interviews. That was the life she really wanted. Since then she wrote a tragically accurate song called 'The Lucky One' that found it's place on her fourth studio album: RED. The song is about how invaded the lives of celebrities are by the media. Since then, Taylor has stated how she would never have children. She thinks it would be cruel to try to convince them they have a 'normal life' when they would have strange men constantly putting cameras in their faces. Again, this conveys the tragic intrusion of the Royal Family's privacy because they couldn't make that choice. They have a duty to carry on the family. Will and Kate could never decide they didn't want to expose a family to the media.
It breaks my heart that the media have scared Taylor into not having her family because of the cruel way they have intruded into her private life.
Many people also talk in a malice way about Miley Cyrus who I have also previously mentioned when talking about sexism. I evaluated in my last post about how her choices and actions are media influenced. I do feel sorry for her because she is made to feel like she has to portray herself in a certain manor; however, I can't help but be angry by how little responsibility she takes. She could have an attitude like Taylor or like so many other celebrities who refuse to be that provocative and take a classier approach but she doesn't. Not only does she allow herself to be sexualised by she completely disregards any responsibility for her actions.It's almost as if the media's disregard for people's privacy has inspired celebrities to feel like they can use that as an excuse to do whatever they feel like doing.
Some may argue that being exposed by the media is simply 'part of the job' but it shouldn't be and it never used to be. There used to be singers and movie stars way before there were gossip magazines and corrupt media coverage. It's as if this rise in media usage has left people in the spotlight with little time to adapt and evolve to suit the new type of famous. If you take for example the royal family who go back centuries obviously, there was a time when they could leave their home to go for a walk without being followed by cameras. They could appear looking tired, let their hair go grey, wear what they wanted. Obviously, they would always have had a lot of money to make themselves look presentable but they could do so off their own backs, there wasn't this pressure. It illustrates an image of a fish out of water. The royal family worked even 50-60 years ago when media coverage wasn't as much of an issue but they're not designed for this kind of exposure. This is tragically highlighted in the events of the last 20 or so years regarding the private lives of the royal subjects.
You have to be smart to be a celebrity. People such as Justin Bieber, Meghan Trainor and so many others who clearly don't think about what impact their actions and words have result in heartbroken teenagers who think behaving in a certain way is okay. I cannot tell you how thankful I am that I found Taylor and had a good role model or who knows where I would have ended up.
It's true: Celebrities are bringing up the next generation through the media.
This whole outlook has completely scared me away from all of the things I love. I am terrified of getting my dream job. I want nothing more than to take my music all over the world and release albums and tour but I don't think I could handle it even if I had that opportunity. I don't think I'd have the energy to never make a single mistake. I couldn't put that much effort into making sure I always looked right and behaved right. I couldn't cope with the articles and the press and the interviews and always having to say the right thing.
I love writing. I plan to do english at university but I have no idea what I could do with it. If I can make sufficient money from writing this blog then great but I don't want to go into journalism because I find it boring. I could never write for a magazine either. As much as I love fashion and make-up and writing about that stuff I couldn't live with myself if I had to make money of writing horrible things about people. I don't want to write about how a certain celebrity still has stretch marks from the baby she gave birth to a few weeks ago, I mean how dare she? Or have to interview famous people and ask them hurtful, private questions.
It's cruel.
When you consider how much these celebrities have sacrificed for us to enjoy their music or films etc. Why should we then take more than they offer? Why bite the hand that feeds you? You don't need to know who they're dating or how many times they've worn a certain outfit. Of course they make a lot of money but no amount of cash could make me want to be exposed like that. I could never do that to somebody either.
The media is a great thing in some ways. We can learn so much and get in touch with so many things but it scares me how much we are going too far every single day. From all of this pressure on so many people, we are inches away from everything collapsing be it a metaphor or a physical tragedy.
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