The Grammar Police

I have always had a passion for studying literature and at 16 I was proudly one of those strange students that enjoy writing essays. For Literature GCSE we studied a variety of texts, my personal favourite being 'An Inspector Calls' by JB Priestly. I mastered the format and skills needed for those particular essays rather early on which meant, to my disgust and coinciding with the usual, tedious secondary school manner, I had to help the slower kids. And so, with the desperate hope to please my favourite teacher, a sassy, American lady with awesome hair and a very quick wit, I endlessly coached my table of time wasters and gum chewers until they too remembered to discuss the author's purpose and link such examples with the context of the play. 

 There are many disappointments in life, I was quick to realise. Amongst the worst are: savoury muffins and accidentally picking up low fat mayonnaise in the supermarket. For me, the worst by far is the tragic, unfortunate event of being stuck in a lesson, or any social situation for that matter, with a dunce who cannot consistently construct and grammatically correct sentence. For me, bad grammar is the savoury muffin of every English classroom. 

 Personally, I don't feel that grammar is a difficult thing to learn. When I was in year 3 and at a hideous primary school, determined to terrify the pupils into believing in God with the thret that we would all end up in the callous pits of hell, I was naturally eager to please. I eventually got so tired of being trapped in a constant state of confusion over which version of 'your' to us in each sentence that I later went home and, rather than repeatedly write out random words off of this week's 'spellings list', wrote out the different versions of 'where,' 'there,' and 'your' and taught myself how to use them accurately and appropriately. Consequently, never have I used the wrong 'your' or any of the other prime examples incorrectly in a sentence. At the mere age of 8 I mastered the 'yours'.' 

 Bearing that in mind and fast forwarding again to myself as a passionate literature student, you can probably empathise with my irritation when my mock essays were marked as only an A grade because I "could have linked to the context more coherently throughout." Meanwhile, over in the corner of my table, a gum chewer sat arrogantly with his A* having, to my utter disgust, used the word 'your' as a shortened version of 'you are.' Surely it must be a joke? I'm afraid not. I remember the essay clearly. After we had thoroughly but enthusiastically explored the build-up of tension between Sheila and her mother in the play, we were set a mock essay to write as homework. The groans that erupted from the Gum Chewers and the Hair Fiddlers were not only impertinent but also impossible to empathise with. I remember thinking to myself, "We're doing GCSE's, what do they expect?" I spent hours drafting and planning. I made tick lists to make sure I referred to the writer's purpose and context with every paragraph. I annotated the question to make sure I knew exactly what I needed to write. I recall clearly the week we spent waiting for them to be marked, a wait which was made longer by the fact that one Hair Flicker didn't hand theirs in until 3 days after the due date. We got them back and I was pleased with my A, an A is a good grade and I had months to bump that up to an A*. It wasn't that I was disappointed in myself but I was disappointed in the education system. I was angry that mark schemes could allow students with poor basic literacy skills to do that well in a literary exam. 

 And I wasn't alone. I sat opposite another equally passionate literature student. She had long brown hair that came to her waist that every other girl was envious of and her brain was filled with every sophisticated word you could think of; the other kids referred to her as 'The Human Dictionary.' To my absolute relief, I had found someone like me: a fellow grammar enthusiast. We had been friends before, years ago, way back in year 7-8 but this was a whole different level. We talked for a whole lunchtime about how inadequate and unacceptable bad grammar really was and how easy it is to get it right. Over the next few months I found a true ally in the English classroom. The Human Dictionary and I bonded over many lengthy debated such as how absurd it was that we were even put into the same class as people who couldn't spell properly. It was an abomination that a student who couldn't use the correct 'there' should even be awarded higher than a C grade. We would recommend books for each other to read and when it came to leaving that school for good, I felt deeply saddened to be leaving my fellow grammar fanatic behind. We planned weekends we would spend in the garden reading for hours and I expressed my jealousy over her book collection. I felt a healthy and enjoyable pressure to expand my reading regime to impress her. Inevitably, due to long journeys to each other's houses and the lack of essay construction to bond over, we grew apart. It was a bigger loss than I could ever have anticipated or even prepared myself for. 

 Lonely and bitter without my companion or confidant, I became cold and completely without any compassion for those who could not spell properly. 

 I didn't often get flirted with at secondary school... or any other form of school for that matter. My mum always told me it was because I was "too pretty" and I "scare them away." In retrospect, I can clearly see it was simply because my intolerance for those incapable of matching my passion for learning comes across as being abrupt and, in some few cases, unpleasant. The first time I experienced flirting, the summer after I left school, I was contacted by a seemingly friendly kid in my tutor group whom I had never really spoken to much before. The guy made a very rookie mistake by doing it over Facebook chat. Not only was this attempt unsuccessful because of the distinct lack of romance, but more so because it gave me a perfect opportunity to check out his spelling. I was sat in my younger sister's bedroom watching our usual marathon of Harry Potter films, simply because there wasn't much else to do. His name popped up on my screen and I thought it was just the usual nostalgia of leaving school and the burning need to keep up with as many people as possible, a feeling that I hadn't really experienced; I felt the need to abandon as many people as possible and run, as fast as my feet would carry me, away from the apostrophe crimes miss matched 'yours.' As soon as the conversation took off, dread filled my body. An explosion of frustration and pure impatience for the copious, careless grammar mistakes that invaded my Facebook Messenger like a vicious plague. The only quotations from this particular conversation that you need to understand the extent of my, perhaps slightly harsh, reaction are as follows:

Bad Grammar Guy: your beautiful
Me: My beautiful what?
Bad Grammar Guy: ...I said your beautiful
Me: I do not understand what beautiful possession you are referring to?
Bad Grammar Guy: No, I mean you are beautiful
Me: Oh. You mean 'You're.' I have to go now. 

 I would justify my abrupt response by explaining that I was in a bad place and missing my only friend with an ability to empathise with my frustration. However, to be completely honest, I'm not even sorry. What kind of date would it have been? What kind of relationship would we have if someone of my intellectual ability was paired with someone who can't even use word 'conjunctions' accurately? Imagine the love letters that I would have to go through and edit before I could allow myself to read them in order to focus on the emotion rather than the spelling mistakes. It's not just an insult to my intelligence but it's deeply unattractive and a clear red flag for laziness. If my 8 year old self could self-teach how to use these words correctly, why couldn't a 16 year old 'gentlemen?' After about 10 minutes of relentless complaining and, perhaps inconsiderate, talking over Harry's emotional conversation with his God Father, my little sister told me to, "block him and shut up." So that is what I did. To this day, I haven't run into Bad Grammar Guy or had to speak to or of him. I often think of him though and think with sympathy to his poor A level teachers who won't have such an easy escape. 

 To my delight, I came out of GCSE English Literature with a strong A, as did my fellow grammar enthusiast, The Human Dictionary. I have no idea what grade the Gum Chewer got because I didn't wish to communicate with him further after finishing secondary school. Bad Grammar Guy and I, as previously stated, are no longer in contact for what I believe to be clear and understandable circumstances. 

Autumn Poetry Collection

I have been asked to post some of my poetry by several of my readers. I'll admit, I am a bit apprehensive because poetry is such a personal form of writing and I'm not a professional writer, I am still studying the art of words and with that, I am still studying how to form poetry. However, there are a few short poems that I've written that I am really proud of and so I'm going to post them here for you to enjoy. One thing that differentiates this post from my usual is it gives you chance to give me feedback as a writer: whatever your initial reactions are to these poems, please feel free to comment below! I would really benefit from knowing what you think! First and foremost, most of the poems I will share were a part of a collection I had to write as a piece of mock coursework for my Creative Writing A level and so they are based around the given theme, Light, hence the running theme. I really hope you enjoy my first publicly shared poems!


 Stay Safe Within The Light, My Love. © 

I wrote such words of sorrow
to recover from the scar you left:
words of the smile I had to borrow
and the scars left beneath my chest.
Worry not for my discomfort
or the tears I have cried enough of;
stay safe within the light, my love.

Your hands soon found another
to replace the forever you threw away.
No more than a temporary lover.
The one who left always promised to stay.
Worry not for my discomfort
or the tears I have cried enough of;
stay safe within the light, my love.

You need not seek my forgiveness,
too often you drown within the dark
I was your savior from the wilderness,
I aided you to light the spark.
But I worry still for your discomfort
and the tears you have cried enough of;
stay safe within the light, my love.



Beneath My Ribs  ©

A candle would flicker in the wind,
the flame may even blow out.
My dearest, I struggled to understand
but I am on my way there now.

I kept it all silent for too long,
trapped beneath my lips.
Now you are long gone and oceans away,
so I will keep in beneath my ribs.

My tears put out your roaring flame,
perhaps it was selfish to request you stay.
My dearest, I struggled to understand
but now I am on my way.

You should know you do not hold the blame,
we shared it with each and every kiss.
Now you are long gone and oceans away,
so I will keep in beneath my ribs.

The House I Didn't Get To Build.  ©

You lit a match, 
I watched it burn.
You blew it out, 
I watched the ashes Fall.
You pressed your lips
against her skin-
merely a shadow
where I used to be.

You burnt down the house
I didn't get to build;
danced in the flames,
free of love and guilt.
We both will wait
but one will stay.
When you come back,
I know you won't chose me. 

Last Autumn.  ©

A kiss for my cheek as they change over the leaves.
A kiss on my neck as you're changing me.
You took a hold of my hand, to say the least; 
this time last autumn, you were holding me. 

A magical mist in this crisp new air. 
Old passion dying, acting as though you don't care.
Both pushing and pulling but one force is stronger,
I only wish last autumn had lasted longer. 

My eyes captivated on the fading leaves,
taking more notice than I usually do...
and with it is dying
my missing you. 

 © Chloe Hanks (All poetry shared here belongs to me. Please ask permission to copy any of this poetry and take it else where on the internet. Any quotation should clearly convey credit to my name and my blog and have my own personal permission of use) 

A Comfy, Cosy Christmas | The First Ever Look Book By Chloe Hanks

As a snuggle down in a big jumper with a blanket and a gingerbread latte, I find myself wondering why I haven't ever done one of these before. I have put it down to simply not having the time or motivation but thanks to my fantastic friends for taking seemingly endless trips down to the Stratford Upon Avon riverside to take pictures of me in various outfits, this has become possible. December is the birthday month for this blog. I posted my first post on this blog almost a year ago to the day I am writing this. My plan is to put it live on my blog's first birthday and so by the time you're reading this, my blog will be one year old! The theme of my first ever look book is winter. These outfits are outfits I wear to college and therefore outfits that I feel comfortable in even in the cold weather. Hopefully this can give you some ideas as to what you can wear fashionably in winter as well as being warm and comfortable. Most of the items are from my Black Friday New Look order but some of the items worn in conjunction are from elsewhere so I will let you know where each piece can be found, or else something similar. 

 We start with a simple duo: a camel coloured turtleneck (£19.99) partnered with a black skater skirt. The top is so beautiful and it has metallic thread running through the woven fabric which makes it look really festive for the Christmas season but appropriate for other times of year as well. This particular skirt was brought at H&M last summer (Back To School Haul) and so I'm not sure if the exact same one is still available; however, this item is very similar. I absolutely love this look. The lightly coloured top really compliments any brighter lip colour you might wear and it's such a simple outfit that you can show off with cute accessories. The lip colour I am wearing is by Soap & Glory and the bow in my hair was from accessorize about 2 years ago. Similar products can be found here. 

I love being able to put together a cute, simple outfit without having to spend lots of money. I've worn this twice since I brought it on Black Friday and I've received so many compliments. It's just a simple, grey swing dress (£14.99) but it's made from quite thick fabric and so, partnered with black tights, it does keep me really warm! Again, it's quite a simple colour and so you can be more adventurous with accessories and lip colour. I wore this whilst playing a gig at a Christmas market. It's not only extremely comfortable but it really wears well and is a sturdy fabric that doesn't get caught in the wind too much. 

  This outfit is similar to the first one but I think I prefer this one. It's a charcoal grey turtleneck (£8.99) which I was worried would look too dark with the black skirt but I absolutely love this look. The top is the most comfortable thing I've ever worn, it's so warm but isn't too thick and I find the darker colours really hug my body shape. It looks so cute with these khaki green pumps and and white bow! I'm wearing a redder shade of lipstick with this outfit but it's another soap and glory one! Soap and Glory lipsticks last really well in the colder weather and have a matte finish which look so lovely with blacks and greys. 

 This Khaki jumper was such a great find! I paid £7.99 for it and I absolutely love it! Khaki green is a key feature in my wardrobe, most of my favourite items are khaki as most of you know. It's the perfect colour to wear in autumn/winter time. This item is perfect for those days where you want to wear a more casual, baggy outfit and partners really well with a pair of black jeans. The jeans I'm wearing here are from topshop. I have to get jeans from more expensive shops so I can get sizes that will fit me; if you want to find cheaper ones look here.  

Finally, it's important to wrap up warm in the winter. Going to and from the riverside to take these pictures I wore the same coat and scarf combination over the top of every outfit you see here. A lot of beauty bloggers and fashion experts keep lots of different coats and jackets to go with every outfit. As a small scale blogger, I am painfully aware that realistically this isn't practical for people who don't make hundreds of pounds off of single blog posts and videos. Therefore, this is a simple coat and scarf combination that, I find, go with every outfit! Of course, the coat is Khaki green which is my favourite colour because it does just go so well with everything! However, I got it for Christmas last year and so this exact coat probably isn't available anymore. This one is very similar. The scarf is from New Look. (£9.99)

I've never done a look book before and so I've kind of been guessing as to what you're supposed to do - it's mostly pictures. I really hope you've enjoyed this and I hope you're as excited as I am about my blog turning one year old! I just want to say thank you all for reading these posts whether you've been here since last December or if this is the first post from me you've read! If you want to follow me then you can by clicking the button below to follow me on Google+. Happy New Year and I hope you had a lovely Christmas.